Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Been there, Done that! (Reminders from one bride to another, from one who's been out there)


As much as I want to, I'm not so good with giving tips. I'll just lose my train of thought after a few minutes, and we'll be on a different topic before we know it.But I think I'm good at sharing. At telling stories. I might be yakking away for a long time, but at least I try to be animated and humorous about it.
So in my effort to reach out to other brides who are gracious or maybe stressed out enough to read this blog entry, I'm gonna try to relate what I experienced during the wedding by sharing. From realizations on what did really well, what really helped me, and what could have been done better. And from this, I hope you learn a thing or two, be reminded of the things that really matter, or at least have a good laugh with me, as I recall some experiences from what we call our "big day."

  • I'm an OC bride, and for those who are like me, let me tell you the real deal: It's okay to be OC... just as long as you let go on the wedding day. Being an OC planner did wonders for my wedding. Because I was like that, every important detail I specified was followed. My coordinators (who are our closest friends helping out) didn't have such a hard time. I planned everything, they did the implementation. I was OC with everything, but I knew that to really enjoy our wedding day, I had to let go sooner or later. For me, it came later. Up to the day before, I was typing in files, looking at the checklists, guestlists, reviewing the contracts. But that was because I was determined to let it all go on the wedding day. So after going Ms. OC, sending in all files to our coordinators, and giving them last minute reminders (everything talaga that I can think of, and I told them to ask me anything na, para the on the wedding day they won't have to ask me), turning over every item and paraphernalia that they would need, I sent an email and text message to all our suppliers, telling them that I will no longer entertain phone calls, questions or clarifications. Instead, I have forwarded to them the contact details of the coordinators so that they can get in touch with each other regarding the wedding preps. I told them that I will be resting and preparing myself for the wedding day, and I trust them that they will make everything alright. After that, I let go. Hands-off on the wedding preparations. During the morning of the wedding day, I gave both of my phones to my maid of honor. It was hard to let go, but after feeling rested and relaxed, and after seeing that our friends and suppliers really did a great job in coordinating everything, I knew we made the right decision. They felt good that we trusted them, and they surpassed our expectations. At the start, I thought of getting a professional team of OTDs na lang, since I was an OC bride nga, I didn't want to feel bad if my friends disappointed us on our wedding. But after having a good talk with our friends, and knowing that they are capable and they would love to do it for us, there was no second-guessing. On the wedding day, they didn't stress us out at all. They took care of everything. And they loved the feeling afterwards. One of my friends who was in-charge was ecstatic because the suppliers gave her a pat on the back, congratulating her for a job well-done. It saved me a lot of money, and a lot of stress.
  • The day before the wedding, I had a mani-pedi, foot spa and a body scrub. Some brides do it the week before, or days before, but I knew I would just ruin my manicure if I don't do it the day before, and I'd still be so stressed out by then. So after my beauty routine, a really relaxing body scrub, I felt great and I felt glowing. It was like the hardest part was over, and I was ready to be a bride. The night before, after reading my vows and saying a prayer, I already felt like sleeping beauty. My fear that I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before and have breakouts on my wedding day didn't happen. I felt relaxed and at ease.
  • On the day of the wedding, before the suppliers came in, I already had my me-time. It happened after breakfast. I'm not exactly sure how it happened that I had the hotel suite all to myself. So there I said a prayer, contemplated for a bit, and sang out loud while watching music videos. That really calmed my nerves. It wasn't like I was preparing for my wedding, it felt like hours before preparing to go on a concert. I really felt relaxed and ready for the busy day to come. It helped that I had a great breakfast with my family, and we stopped talking in high tones. I know they were all anxious too, but we kinda have the relaxed vibe at our suite, and we just focused on savoring the moments. I approached them in a relaxed manner, and vice versa. Have a moment to yourself. Even for just 10 minutes before everything gets crazy.
  • Don't second-guess your decisions, but have a really good Plan B. From what I have learned from my events class, there should be no Plan C, because Plan B should be as good as Plan A. So as our wedding falls on the month of June, we were really apprehensive about the weather. We had an outdoor event. We did the drill, we went to Sta. Clara and offered eggs. We went to mass consecutively, for the intention of the whole wedding as well. Of course, we still had Plan B. To transfer one part of the reception to the indoor function room, while the rest that wouldn't fit would be tented outside. It was good enough, but of course, we're still hoping for Plan A. Two days before the wedding, my caterer's tent supplier said that they can't do backup for our event. It's either we get them and set up the tent, or we don't. I thought about the costing. What if it didn't rain? Then we would be wasting a ton of money and a lovely floor plan. So we had to let go of that supplier and look for another one that can do backup. I was only able to finalize the deal with the new supplier the day before the wedding. On the day of the wedding, I noticed my maid of honor (my sister), and our coordinator, pacing back and forth looking at the floor plans that we have. When I asked, they said that the caterer is having second thoughts on plan A because the sky seemed a bit unsure too. So they asked if I could be ready for Plan B. We talked about it, and we all felt that we weren't ready to give up yet. The weather seemed to be accommodating our plans so far. So we decided to still go for Plan A. At the church, it drizzled for less than a minute, and it was sunny again. It didn't rain. We were faithful, the Lord is faithful. When we got to the reception venue, the setup couldn't be any more lovely and romantic. It was a good thing we stuck to our decision.
  • What we forgot was this: if everything happens according to our wishes for a no-rain wedding, it will be the complete opposite. It was so hot on our wedding day! We didn't anticipate that it will be that dry. Everyone was sweating at the church and during the reception. We were all good sports about it, but if we just believed that the Lord wouldn't let it rain on our wedding day 100%, we could have just rented fans or air coolers instead of backup tents.
  • Don't neglect your bodies, and have a good rest. I was very religious in my beauty routine and drinking vitamins up until maybe a week before the wedding. I forgot about my Vitamin C and E. Thankfully, I didn't get sick on the day of the wedding (although I had a migraine when we got back to the hotel), but the groom had a cold. He was so conscious about it throughout the entire ceremony that we just had to laugh about it. He even mistakenly used the priest's handkerchief to wipe his nose. Thankfully, the priest was my uncle. Later on, I learned, that he wasn't able to sleep well the night before.
  • Eat before going to church. Its true what they say, that you might not be able to eat on your own wedding reception. Before, Babe and I swore that we won't care what anybody says, we will eat on our reception. We won't pass up on all that good food we have paid for. But on the wedding day, its different. While waiting at the car, the waiter already served us the cocktail food. Everything looked yummy! We tried to eat some, but then when we heard our emcee's voice calling out the names of our entourage, we knew we also had to stop eating and get ready. When we got to our table, picture taking began and as we wanted everyone to feel part of the programme, we went table hopping and mingled with all our guests. By the time we got back to our table, we were served with the most beautiful plate of all mouthwatering dishes. We tried to eat, but our friends came up with a really good programme that we were so preoccupied with it, and when you're up there, you really can't think of anything but what is happening around you, people taking chances to have their photos taken with you. And of course, you'd do anything to make their efforts of going to your wedding well worth it. The food was right in front of us, but we barely touched it. After the reception, we had packed food for us at the hotel. But we were both tired and in a state of shock and happiness, that we forgot all about it and ended up bringing it home with us. If there was anything I regret about the whole wedding, its that we weren't able to eat the sumptuous feast that we have prepared. Everyone said that the food was great. And we could only smile. Brides out there, if you're still not done with the food-tasting, be sure you make the most out of it. don't just taste, EAT! Or else, you'll be having a monstrous craving afterward, just like I do now =(
  • Break-in your shoes at least the night before. I started walking in my shoes the whole night before. Strutting, trying to run and dance with it. And even though I kinda felt silly, I'm still glad I did. Saved me from an embarrassing experience of tripping from it.
  • For the sake of the wedding pictures. If you feel like crying, go do it. Holding back will make you look like you are sneezing in pictures. I was blessed that our photographer reminded me of this. I didn't bawl out, but just freely let the tears flow. That's the whole purpose of a touch-up anyway. It saved me from having a lot of awkward pictures.
  • If you have personal vows, practice reading it before you go to church. You will feel confident reading it in public right after.
  • Finally, and what might seem like the whole point of this blog entry, just relax! Remember that despite all the hangups and setbacks and epic fails that you will see right in front of you on your wedding, what matters is that you have your groom with you and after this will be a lifetime of togetherness. I've been there. The worst thing that can happen is it not happening. But it is. So when you're there, breathe and relax. Everything's under control. The moment the doors opened for me and I stepped inside the church, the main vocalist in our choir, singing my entrance song was out of key. He went on and on off-pitch. But instead of me throwing a fit about it, it made me laugh. And I saw my groom's face and he didn't care. He was looking at me, crying. We couldn't care less. From being just a far-fetched dream, our wedding was turning into a reality. The church's coordinator was ruining the moment by telling me to kick underneath my wedding dress as it was long and it was keeping me from gliding. She was irritating, but I didn't care. When I met my groom, he joked about kicking the coordinator instead. And then I knew, we were there as ourselves. We were off to a good start. I am a worrier. Admittedly, I worry more than half the people I know. But on my wedding day, I did what I thought I could never do - I relaxed. And as far as I can remember, there wasn't a moment I didn't like about my wedding day. I'm the happiest bride I know :)
So I guess that's it. I don't know for sure if what I wrote will help you, but for me it did. And I can only hope for the best for you, pretty bride to be. Be fearless. Trust in the Lord. Trust in the love of your fiancee, the love of your family and friends that they will be the best for you on your wedding day. Trust in yourself, that you did and can do whatever there is to be done. I've been there. This OC, overly anxious, clumsy, scatterbrained, laidback dreamer bride has made it. I'm sure you will too. ;))

love, Cams

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