PART 2: A Year From Now...

...I'm entering a new chapter in my life. Marriage.

Being the hardcore romantic that I am, I can say that I've dreamed of my wedding my whole life. Its the thought that calms me and puts me off to sleep at night like a lullaby. Sometimes, I feel like the wedding preps can go on like a breeze and that getting married is actually easy.

Now being married, that's a whole different level. Its a matter of life...until death. Its the gate to this whole new different chapter, a whole new reality. A whole new you, and a whole new him. What you are now as a couple might cease to exist when you enter marriage. Well, at least that's what they say.

It's building a family together, and raising kids and reaching dreams together. For most people, marriage is what defines what kind of person you will be ten, twenty, fifty years from now.

Yes. Marriage is a big word. But I'm not afraid of it. I always tell people that. That when other girls in their early twenties are just not ready to get hitched yet, I'm willing to make that jump head on. And its mostly true. I've seen how marriage is from my parents. There are days when they're so sweetI feel like throwing up, and there are days when they argue so hard but they just argue about family things, not really about them being incompatible. So I realized that problems are gonna be part of the picture, but when its with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, problems can be an everyday thing yet you'll still have a ball.

Marriage takes work, but, I know, especially with my babe, that its absolutely worth it.

What I'm afraid of though, is several things that has nothing to do with me and babe. Leaving home, for instance. People who know our family will agree that we are just one of the wackiest, funnest family around. Tight-knit will be an understatement to describe us. They, along with my Babe, are my number one priority. We do almost everything together. Out of town trips, breakfast, dinner, going to mass. I've grown even fonder and closer with them when Babe went to work abroad and they were my constant dates. I wonder how it will be without them. I mean, from the start of our relationship, Babe and I consider Family Time and Family Day for our families sacred. But we're starting our own family soon. As much as we don't want to, we have to maintain a safe distance to learn how to be on our own.

One thing we have agreed on, is that after the wedding, I'm going with him to the Middle East so that we can both work there, save up for the house and future. As much as I look forward to living with Babe in a strange land, I don't know how I can ever battle being so away from my parents and siblings. Apart from the comfort and luxury that I experience at the confines of my home, I know I'll be yearning for the presence of my entire family on a daily basis. I miss them even on weekends without them. When this topic even comes up, friends are already betting that I'll be crying buckets the day I move out because I'll be so homesick :( I'm worried that Babe will have the hardest time with me when I get so emotional missing my family too much. But I guess, same with a man, a girl needs to do that to become truly independent. I guess the time will come when I really need to be physically separated from them, so I try to spend as much time as I can with them. People say I'm making it harder by doing that, but I know I can't spend that much time with them when I have a family of my own, so might as well do it while I can.

There are a lot of things that I look forward to with being married to Babe and one of which is serving the Lord with him. We have tons of fun when we're serving together along with our friends. Sometimes we have different points of view, but we always know how to work together on a united goal. I believe he is my mission partner. :) But then, as a woman of God, I know that I can serve Him in other ways apart from my partner. I have always believed in women empowerment, and that I want to do for the rest of my single life. I mean, for sure priorities will have to change when I get married. I'll be attending to my husband and family first and foremost. Not trying to sound heroic or anything, but I want to be able to make a change in a girl's life. A girl helping out another girl.

A lot of other must dos enter my mind when I think about the clock of my singlehood ticking. I want to be the best friend I can be, to write a breakthrough piece, to really, make a career out of writing (and I mean hardcore, real writer stuff) to be able to sing out loud in front of a crowd (videoke not included), to dance without a care in the world, to learn to drive and actually drive somewhere, to cook a normal everyday meal (an adobo or sinigang would do, not the complicated pasta dish and dessert I make for special occasions), to travel alone, to help more, to sin less, to pray more.

I guess, I just want to BE my best before I enter into a new chapter in my life. So aside from my physical preparations (health, beauty and fitness), I'm also working it out with these other things. Cliche as it may sound, I want to be complete. And like I always say, I want to be his dream girl. He deserves the best of me. I am ready to be married to him, but before that, I must be ready to leave all my single dreams behind and turn them into reality so that I can move on to making new dreams with my Babe. So for myself and for my dreamboy, I'm making the most out of my last year as a single gal.

Countdown all you want, I'm gonna conquer everything before I walk down that aisle. ;)