Sunday, October 4, 2009

Learnings on Ondoy

This blog was supposed to be just about why I needed to wait for a week before I can buy a particular magazine of wedding inspirations. But then Ondoy came and devastated Manila, and then the wedding magazine became the last thing on my mind. I couldn't even talk about the wedding for sometime. It seemed insensitive and untimely to be talking about such a joyous celebration when you know people firsthand, who have been badly affected by the storm.

When I first saw and heard about it on the news, I was heartbroken. To actually hear about stories of people drowning and dying in the flood, or getting lost; families couldn't get in touch with each other and people need to go up to the roof to be rescued. Even when they have second floors. I never imagined that happening in Manila and even if it was already happening, I couldn't believe it. It was so surreal.

The ultimate conflict I was battling with was trying to figure out a way to help out. Each time an opportunity arises when I can donate to charity, volunteer for a cause and help the needy (in a legal way), my heart always skips a beat. I used to want to become a social worker. Its even natural that I fell in love with the most generous guy in the world, he makes me feel like a slacker in that area. Its just that, in my entire life I feel that I have been so blessed, continuously being blessed. How can I not share these blessings to others when everyday, an overflowing supply comes to me? So in a time like this, it felt like an instinct to go and reach out, and offer my time to volunteer. But alas, I was caught up in the whole corporate jungle. I had a deadline for my project at work and it needs most of my time to be able to complete it. So while my mom was cooking pansit to give to friends and families whose houses were badly hit by Ondoy, my dad and brothers were joining rescue operations, and my sister was doing volunteer work in the many relief operations area around the metro, I was either at home, stuck in front of the computer, trying to complete materials for a project, or in the office, working as usual. Two members of our team were also affected by the storm, and my boss was sick, so I had to be a team player and take on some work, stay in the office. More than anything though, my heart longed to be out there, helping and doing something relevant. Anyway, I managed to help out in my own little way as I was restless until I felt that I did my part.


And so... with the calamity that was Ondoy, and the scare that was typhoon Pepeng, I had some realizations. I know, by now, most of us have learned a thing or two because of this. I just wanted to share mine in this forum because as brides slash future (or present) homemakers, we need a firm grasp of what's important and valuable. Kinda basic, and we should all know them by now, but here they are anyway:
  • When you're single, its easy to just go through life without a care in the world and take it one day at a time, but I realized that when you get married and (soon) become a mom, you will need to do so much more than exist. You need to know the proper values to teach your kids; you need to learn to lead by example. I am so much prouder and more appreciative of my mom now as I realize how much time I have left under her care. 'Charity begins at home is so true' and she is a clear manifestation of that. She always encourages us siblings to give more, be more generous with each other and those who aren't as fortunate. Same with my dad. He is not indifferent and he would extend our home, our possessions to people who need it. Growing up, we saw them devote their time, talents and treasure for worthy causes. I'm not trying to brag, but I think they did a pretty good job in instilling the value of giving to us. So while other friends and relatives were worried about their farms and pets in Farmville and Fish World (no offense to those who are into these, but really?! in times of calamity and other people are stranded and hungry?!), my siblings and I are in search of ways to be able to help, volunteer and assist those who are in need. Just like charity, apathy begins at home too. So before you dream of making and raising kids, think if you already have the right values to teach them. Do you want your kids to have the same character as you? If you're not yet sure, please do not "go forth and multiply" just yet.

  • Note on giving: if you have an item in your closet that has been sitting there for more than a year, then it's not your property anymore. It's charity's. You are merely keeping it for the person who would have better use of it than closet-filler. With my hectic sched at work, getting clothes out of my closet was really the best I could do. Given how much of a packrat I am, I have clothes that I kept since my early college days, hoping I would slip back to my college girl body and wear those clothes again. But then, when my friend told me about this sermon she heard from the priest (one of the few times she was actually listening in mass), it was an eye opener. I realized, I have been keeping those clothes for so long thinking I "could" wear them again. But I know I won't. What, will I just keep them there til God knows when? While there are some girls out there who literally have nothing else to wear. So along with my sister, I took a good look at all our clothes and, with eyes half-closed, decided to give away those clothes that are still good, but we don't use anymore. Yes, you actually learn what giving is all about until it hurts. It's hard to part with old clothes, possessions you have had for years. You know when most girls are into shoes, some girls are into bags, I am most of a clothes-person. Memories about how happy I was when I got them, or how good I felt when I wore them keeps replaying in my mind. But am I gonna let that hold me back from putting a smile in another person's face? It was kinda sad to let go of that perfect pink top that I bought years ago, probably the nicest pink top I have ever had, but, in my head, I see a sigh of relief from girls who may just have found the perfect pick-me-upper that she badly needs. Anyway, the feeling was great...priceless if I may say. And I now have more room for new clothes, and a chance to update my wardrobe ;) and with the truckload of blessings that keep coming, I know a new perfect pink top will get to me soon :)
  • But as much as we can give away and get rid of anything we want, we also need to learn to value the things we have and see if we really need to acquire new things. With the Ondoy calamity, I have been reminded of the value of money. I always say, "I need a new top, new shoes, stuff for my room, etc." But come to think of it, they aren't really needs. They are just wants I turned into needs. I look at my current office clothes, shoes and bags and I see that they're still okay. A bit worn-out, but still wearable and functional. No need to buy new stuff just yet. Because the amount that I spend on those little things that I claimed I needed can be spent helping out those who lost all their possessions. Also, we should learn to value every single thing that we have. Use them properly, maximize them. We can't bring them to our grave, we can't have them forever; sooner or later they will just disappear and we're lucky if they won't be washed out by a flood. Lets enjoy them while they last.
  • I have never been so proud to be a Filipino. Smiles, unity and heroism in spite of the tragedy. Only in the Philippines.
  • Family is the most important. I'm grateful that all of my relatives were safe during the storm. You can acquire new furniture, a new car, new house, but a family is irreplaceable.
  • Most of all, keep the faith. PRAY. In the face of fear and panic, prayer calms us. It gives our minds clarity and peace, even for a short period of time. Its easy to believe all the doomsday talk with the series of tragedies happening, but it will not help, lest we become more anxious and afraid. Its funny how people go to church and hear mass and say they trust the Lord, but when difficulties arise, they forget all about the goodness of God. He is our creator, master of the universe, and He is our Father. Even logic concludes that a father who loves His children will not take away something from them, especially if He created it for them. Its just impossible in my book. We are loved, and the Lord is a faithful God. He is king over the flood. He's all over the place. Just be still; have faith.


These are just some of my learnings. It may be little teachings, but its a big deal if we try to live by it everyday. I hope, that I continue to acquire these lessons, even on ordinary and beautiful sunny days that lie ahead :)

Post on my wedding preps to follow soon, I wish ;)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Last Birthday on Single Status

So last September 12, I turned 24. This age is not usually a milestone age for most people, but this pitstop for me, is kinda special because it is considered my final birthday as a "single lady." At first, even I can't believe that I will be a missus on my next birthday. Time does fly so fast. Anyway, this birthday was different from the rest, because usually my birthdays are quiet and celebrations are in the form of a simple dinner with the family in any of my favorite restos (I always prefer it that way), or a sleepover with my girlfriends (with soft tacos, cake and ice cream); I always try to cook for my guests. This year, since, its my last single birthday, we all made a conscious effort to take the bash a notch higher.

I thought it would be great to welcome my birthday by party-ing (I'm using the word party as a verb, what the heck) the night away with my homegirls. You know, "Get down and go out and just lose it all" as expressed in Black Eyed Peas' new single. Since next year, I will be responsible to someone, for someone and that someone will responsible for me. It was my last chance to be as carefree as I wanted on my birthday. The idea pleased my party-loving brothers and suggested that I throw some sort of celebration on a club, with more friends than usual. But I still didn't wanna let go of a traditional birthday dinner with my family, since they are really the ones I'd like to spend my birthday with. So it was decided that the "night-out" would happen the night before my birthday, to welcome my special day with a bang.

Meanwhile, since it will be my last birthday living with my family, my mom has decided to skip the usual intimate dinner and throw me a simple birthday party at home, inviting our relatives and close friends. I let her plan everything this time because despite the fact that we're having the party catered and with more guests than last year, it was a lot cheaper than my "simple" dinner celebration during my 23rd birthday in my favorite restaurant of all time (hey, I have expensive taste). And you know, its like a mom preparing for her kid's seventh birthday party... just this time, I'm turning 24 but it'll be her last time to throw me a birthday bash. So everything was set.

One of the reasons that I don't "celebrate" my birthday with all my friends is that, admittedly, I am not keen on blowing off that big amount of cash for just one day. I initially planned on just taking the girls out (because obviously, we don't drink that much) on a night at the club, but the guest list got bigger than I thought ( I only invited my closest friends through Facebook). Thankfully, I worked hard for that week (plus somebody gave me a really great birthday gift - cash) so I was able to get us a table in the VIP section. It was an awesome night. It was my first time though to be spending that big amount for a night out so I got kinda paranoid about it. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed it; danced the night away with girlfriends (high school and yfc barkada), reunited with a good friend, and basically watched my friends have a good time. I loved the fact that people close to me were there, all dressed up and game (even though it seemed like a really busy workday for all of us) just to welcome my birthday with me. There were instances in the night though that I longed of just chilling at home and chatting with my Babe. I then realized, that I really was not cut out for the "party every night" (or even every weekend) lifestyle. And it was great that I realized that on my birthday. It meant that I was ready to leave that phase of me behind, and move on to quieter birthdays at home with Babe.

During the night though, I loved seeing my bestfriend with her boyfriend. While I have been with the love of my life for almost five years now, it kinda took forever for Kups to find the man for her. I'm just happy that I'm leaving single country behind with Kups in good hands with her Wab. We are so over the night-out-to-meet-boys stage. I'm glad that although she's not on board the getting hitched route yet, she's getting there sooner, and with a suitable partner who seem really really in love with her. :) It made me really proud and contented to just sit there with them and bask in their kilig powers.

The night went well, and I did not go over the budget ;) thanks to my brothers who really looked out for me and put my best interests at heart. They made sure our budget was doing okay and that my friends were entertained with drinks in tow. I worried less around them.

I officially started my birthday though, by working. I literally breezed through it though, because although I just had a few drinks the night before, I still felt "hungover" because of lack of sleep. The photo shoot was great though, it was swift and I met another rich, old couple who seemed still very much in love with each other. The man was the President and CEO of one of the largest companies in the country, and the woman was also a business woman cum socialite. But in their lovely roofdeck condominium, they were just husband and wife, enjoying the rest of their years together. While the photographer we hired was taking pictures of them, I daydreamed that some years from now, Babe and I would reach that same level of stability (financially) and we'd still be so in love and we would still, unapologetically, call each other with our pet names around other people. I am amazed when I see couples like that. I had some weird notion that rich people marry other rich people for money or fame or position. But such was not the case for this couple, and it was so great to witness that on my birthday ;) True love is the joy of life.

When I got home, I was so tired I practically slept the whole afternoon.

When I woke up, I went to mass in the evening and then followed the dinner party at home. I had fewer guests than expected, just my closest relatives, but it was all good. I loved the fact that we had plenty of leftovers (takaw talaga eh) even after my mom distributed her goody bags (pabalot) to our visitors. Needless to say, I loved the food. I also had a great time with some of my guests. Some of them didn't make it, but it was fine. The night ended with me sleeping in my parent's room. Wearing Babe's benchwarmer jersey. It was exactly how I wanted my 24th birthday to end. I had no complaints.

Trying to sum it all up, I am happy with how my "last single birthday" turned out. It made me realize, that amidst fears or "unfinished" business or dreams that have not yet come true on my last birthday as a bachelorette, I am so ready for the M word. Throughout my birthday celebrations, I marvelled at the power of love through great couples - my bestfriend and her boyfriend, the rich couple in the photo shoot, my parents, and did I mention that two days before my birthday, I saw two of my favorite young married couples in the world (my photographers for our wedding, Jeff and Lisa, and my dear Auntie Cha and her husband Papa James who are expecting a baby girl)? As I approach the last few months of my singlehood, I stay positive and giddy about getting hitched. Everyday, people bombard me with how difficult the next phase is gonna be. And at times I really get paranoid about it. But I know love. I see it all the time. I believe in it. And it is the core of my very existence. So why should I be afraid? If anything, I'm super excited for my next birthday. I'm so looking forward to it - to be 25 and to spend the rest of my existence with the love of my life ;)

long time no blog...

I just hate it when work gets in the way of blogging, and gets in the way of life...

Anyway, just a few months to go and I'll have more time on my hands, finally.

Wedding preps, doing good... Great, actually. Almost done with booking all the major suppliers.

Getting a bit nervous about the guest list. Seriously, I think its the hardest part.

So many things to blog about, really. But I have to get started on my post about my last birthday in single status =)

hopefully, you'll read more from me in the next couple of days...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

my wedding day fashion lookbook :)

Here it is :) I made it using Polyvore, yet I'm seeing a future dilemma because when I save the sets I made in Polyvore, they end up being so small in JPEG. I hope I find an easy way to enlarge them, as I want to print them out and give them to my designer.

Oh well, here it is. I hope you like it, as this will be the farthest you will get to getting a glimpse of my wedding day fashion look. I want it to be a surprise to most :)

Cams wedding fashion lookbook
Cams wedding fashion lookbook by camslab featuring Fiorelli bags

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Another check on the supplier wishlist! Definitely not a Reject!

Just this afternoon, I met with one of the most sought after and unexpectedly most humble of the suppliers that I ever met. Trust W@wies to give the most accurate and detailed feedback on a supplier. And in fairness, they hit it with this certain supplier so well! Everything they described about him was true! :)

Him being this small guy (not really small, he's not just that tall) who was unassuming yet very accommodating and reliable. After months of trying to set a meeting with this guy (I totally understand why he's so busy, everyone wants to get him as supplier!), we were finally able to finalize a schedule a few hours before the meeting. Hahaha. And so we had a casual and delightful discussion on the things I require from his team as this is such an important part of the wedding reception. I mean, this will really set the mood for the place.

Despite his unassuming presence, it was also obvious that he means business and he really knows what he's talking about. He's also realistic about what he can and cannot do. But so far, I think he was able to understand what we want and what's best about that, is that it's super affordable! I was expecting it to be one of the things that I would have to spend a lot of our budget on, especially since this supplier falls on the most wanted list for bride-to-bes. But I'm so amazed with his simplicity and his professionalism.

After I bombarded him with my questions which he so earnestly answered, and we discussed some more things about the lights and sounds, we agreed to a package rate that I really found so reasonable (I didn't even bother to haggle, I felt like doing so would rob him of his livelihood. I mean really, how affordable can his expertise get?) and it was off to signing a contract and giving a minimum down payment. And now I can finally breathe because we now have an esteemed and reliable lights and sounds (and LCD projector and 6ft x 6ft projector screen! Can you believe that?) supplier :))

Babe was pleased that I was able to book another good supplier at a surprisingly low cost. I mean, we really wanted moodlights for the wedding reception, and we're getting it! And its pretty affordable, really!:))

Now, do I even have to say the name of this oh-so-popular supplier? :) I'm sure you all know who I'm talking about :) Well, I can't wait to see our venue after he installed the moodlights and sounds all over the place. What puzzles me though is why he has the word Reject to his company's name when he most certainly is not. Hmmm...

And only for that today, I think I deserve a pat on the back :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

Talagang may K! - this post is not for the hungry

Hello fellow blogging brides! and the rest of the world... hahaha. It's been a while. It was a rather busy month in the office. And it still is...
A lot has happened though with the wedding preps. Well, not a lot meaning I have accomplished a lot of things, because obviously, I can't seem to get my hands on that much preparations. But I say a lot, because I have a significant accomplishment and something (almost) monumental happened that ushered us into the next phase of the wedding preps. So, as I need to catch up on my blogging, I'll try to write several short entries as I can to keep you most updated :)

First off, let me share the good news that we are soon to be in the hands of a really credible and amazing caterer! Part of W@W Top Wedding Suppliers for 2008, great raves from my fellow W@wie sisters and highly recommended by Jeff and Lisa, our most reliable and brilliant photographers :) Okay, its no surprise to say that its the ever famous K by Cunanan.
Now, given our limited budget, it took me several push from other brides and just one look at their photo gallery to actually email them. As an events person, I know what our budget is and isn't capable of. So I was just being realistic and practical. But then, after our several correspondences via email, their AE, Lace was able to draft a customized, slightly cheaper (and sulit) package for us. :) And so I got my hopes up! If it took me a lot of convincing to give them a try, it took just one look at their photo gallery for Babe to decide that theirs was the perfect choice. And whose word do I only listen to when it comes to decisions?
So there, I scheduled a foodtasting and meeting with them on a Friday and I brought along Kaye, my sister and maid of honor, and Mama and Tita Beh, our future ninang :) Since things were pretty busy in the office, they had to fetch me from Rockwell (actually kanto ng Estrella kasi super traffic everywhere!) then we went straight to the place. I think we were 45 minutes late because of the traffic. On the way to Ms. Kaye's residence, they were getting impatient because of the long ride (from Las Pinas to Ayala Heights ba naman eh?!) and then my sister and mom kept telling me that the food better be good as they had to drive more than two hours to get to the place.

When we got there, we were amazed at the quaint beautiful house that stood before us. A waiter in uniform escorted us inside the house, and then there was young-looking Lace (who I kept calling Ms.Lace, but she looks younger than my sister!) who greeted us and ushered us to the table that was all set. After a while, another young and savvy-looking lady went out and introduced herself. She was the famous Ms. Kaye :)
Won't it be too taxing if I write about every great detail that happened in the food tasting? So I'll just let some of the pictures do the talking. What you need to know though is that we had the best time. I was always excited for my turn on the foodtasting, but I was always worried that I wouldn't like the food too much and we'd be disappointed. But for this one, my first (and last I believe), it was surely memorable. Ms. Kaye was a pleasure to meet with! She's so young yet she has extensive experience and well-respected in her field. My sister and I idolize her. Tita Beh found the connection with them because her late husband was high school friends with Ms. Kaye's dad. I even found my mom (who's very authoritative when it comes to food) agreeing to everything she says. I was hesitant to tell her the agreed package rate at first because she might just walk out the door, but at the end of the day, Mama was the one who convinced me to go for K by Cunanan, as they were really everything that I could ask for: hands on, creative, gives attention to details and very accommodating. Did I mention they serve really really great-tasting food? It was superb! Every dish they served passed our taste buds with flying colors! Well, needless to say, my mother knows me well.
K by Cunanan was a worthy addition to our dream team. If I was the type of bride who collected notable suppliers like they were trophies, K and her team would probably make it to top shelf. It makes me confident to know that she's on board with our (Babe and me, of course) concept for the wedding. I showed her the look I wanted for our reception which consisted of high-end flowers. And she willingly gave her version of the look we were going for. It was uber elegant and she didn't even mention about the price! I didn't even need to upgrade! Some caterers would have stressed on the kind of flowers that we were limited to have because of our budget. But not her. She just asked me what flowers do I not want to include. I talked to her about other ideas we thought of for the reception and she guided us with her wise words to make the idea work. Although, she was not like other caterers or AEs who seemed too authoritative and overpowering. She was simply elegant and talented.

The phrases "answered prayer," and "supplier-client perfect match" enter my head when I think about K by Cunanan. They were really, everything that we could ever wish for in a caterer.

With all this, I am just so blessed that Babe is the nicest groom-to-be in the world! I would say that getting K by Cunanan altered our budget in a major way, and it was the first time in this whole wedding preps that I felt Babe really grew worried about our budget. We almost became disheartened on the whole wedding preps. But we didn't fight. We dealt with it and chose to face the reality. I asked him several times if he was sure he was okay with getting K despite its effect on our budget. And he said he is. Maybe because he saw they were really good, or because he knew I secretly wanted K so bad. I love him for that. It's like long before the wedding, he's already fulfilling his promise to put me first before anything. I am, without any contest, the luckiest and most blessed bride in the whole wide world!

So on my part, I now have to be extra particular on the budget. I guess for the earlier part, I indulged in getting the suppliers that we felt were really great. Although their services are priced a bit more than we hoped to pay, I think it was still a good choice since they would really make our wedding memories special. And I honestly thought we were going to settle with the cheaper caterers and we'll have so much budget left for the others. Choosing K had a big blow on our budget, but it is one that we willingly take. We consider it part of that first phase in the preps were we indulged in those details of the wedding that are really important, and now, as I said, we are dealing with it. I'm more careful with our budget and more determined than ever to haggle to get the lowest possible prices for the other wedding details. Besides, if we have K as our caterer for our reception, I think the whole of our wedding will be able to pull of that understated elegant look :))

Okay, so I ended up writing more than I actually thought I would, but without further ado, here are the photos. Again, this post is not for the hungry. Enjoy:

Thursday, July 16, 2009

words...

a new artwork i made through polyvore. Just making the most out of my sickly time to do what i love...

testing lang :)

Sharing my recent set from polyvore.com, this is kinda similar to my pre-nup photo look, that I will embed here, soon maybe :)


Sunday, July 5, 2009

A little less than a year to go - updates

Oh well, how's the rest of the world doing?

Yours truly is doing great. Kind of slow-mo in the wedding preps, but after an almost fight with Babe, I decided to take things in stride and avoid being impulsive in doing things. I'm like the tasmanian devil of Looney Tunes when I'm excited. I can get a lot of things done when I'm on a roll, but some of them turns out unfinished and messy and I wish I never laid my hands on it. And some times, with the many things I try to accomplish, I tend to forget about them in the long run, and they are left hanging. So again, I'm trying to practice grace. Every decision needs to be well thought out, not hasty. And to pay attention to details. It's not a race, so I have to do it slowly but surely.

Its pretty hard, especially for me, a sucker for weddings. I know I can get it done in a jiffy, its not rocket science and most of the time, I trust my intuition that I know what I'm doing. But given my track record for some of the plans that were hastily executed, I really should start being more careful in making decisions. As it is, Babe is already being affected of the stupid mistakes I made (only because of several impulsive moves that I forget). In the future, my decisions will not just affect the two of us, but our kids. Our family. So I have to get it right, get it together as soon as possible. I don't want to screw up when it really matters.

Although, I realized I have to meet with the caterer and the lights and sound supplier soon, to get the best deals possible. Its great though that one of our close friends is really taking care of the drapings. We would just have to pay for the materials and the labor of their staff.

I guess, I really have to start putting together a "Wedding Folder" and make a timetable just to make sure I don't miss out on anything. And work on those lookbooks for the suppliers. Hmmm... but I'm also thinking, I'll have a lot of time to do that in September, when my contract from work expires. But, I shouldn't be procrastinating, so if I could start on something as early as now, might as well do it already (I always contradict myself, if you haven't already noticed).

In other news, I'm super proud of Babe! :) he has already saved up and even exceeded his share of our wedding budget :) I'm so happy. Not just because we already have the moolah to pay for everything that we need for the wedding, but because he really made sure he gets to have this certain amount at the earliest possible time even when his priority is money for the lot (house to follow). Between us two, I'm the one who's more excited for the wedding, but he managed to have this amount ready, so that I can go full force with the wedding preps. And it only means he's already excited to be married to me. What can I say? This man really loves me. (Super heartfelt smile :)) )

And then, there's my new dilemna. I thought I was dead set on my color motiff - aqua, fuschia and freesia (darker, mustardy shade of yellow), but the preppy dainty side of me is starting to come out more and more after I finished the moodboard for my wedding dress (see my previous blog entry for the picture). Now I'm thinking if I would switch to a more dainty, pastel motiff, which is light-bubblegum pink and aqua. But then, I don't want to seem too "weddingy" and when it comes to our personality as a couple, I'd say we're really more of the loud and proud side, not those shy perfect pastels. Aarrgh! I really can't decide! My sister slash Maid of Honor says I should just stick to the original motiff, yet the pink and aqua combo is just so pretty to pass on... Babe says he's okay with whatever. What do you think?

Kinda off-topic now, does anybody watch the new teleserye "The Wedding"? I'm super hooked! Not just because its about weddings, which I love next to Babe and writing, and especially, contrary to what others think, not because my biggest local celeb crush Zanjoe is playing lead opposite Anne Curtis. I'm not even that smitten with the plot, I mean, it needs improvement at some points, but I don't know. Might be the script, might be the acting, might be the characters they portray. I especially liked ZM as Marlon. His role there reminds me of a certain guy I call my fiancee. Hardworking, funny, brave, a little proud and undeniably in love with his girl. What-A-Catch. I was never into the rich guys who can get anything they want without working for it. The simple, determined, kind of naive guys seem to attract me more, and I'm just so lucky to have one who's also head over heels in love with me :) My favorite line from the show is "Sinong batas?" (by Zanjoe to Anne). Simple but so damn real. I love it that my Babe knows how to assert himself with me because admittedly, I'm kind of a brat and is used to having things my way. "Medyo sanay ka na utos ng utos... ayokong madala mo yun pag mag-asawa na tayo." Babe keeps me grounded. I'm not that much of a diva anymore because of him. And so, my weeknight schedule includes watching The Wedding before I go to bed.

Okay, enough blogging (or blabbing) for now :) hopefully, I'll write more wedding preps updates next time :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

my wedding dress mood board :)


thanks to Polyvore and Adobe Photoshop, its finally here! :)

Monday, June 22, 2009

PART 2: A Year From Now...

...I'm entering a new chapter in my life. Marriage.

Being the hardcore romantic that I am, I can say that I've dreamed of my wedding my whole life. Its the thought that calms me and puts me off to sleep at night like a lullaby. Sometimes, I feel like the wedding preps can go on like a breeze and that getting married is actually easy.

Now being married, that's a whole different level. Its a matter of life...until death. Its the gate to this whole new different chapter, a whole new reality. A whole new you, and a whole new him. What you are now as a couple might cease to exist when you enter marriage. Well, at least that's what they say.

It's building a family together, and raising kids and reaching dreams together. For most people, marriage is what defines what kind of person you will be ten, twenty, fifty years from now.

Yes. Marriage is a big word. But I'm not afraid of it. I always tell people that. That when other girls in their early twenties are just not ready to get hitched yet, I'm willing to make that jump head on. And its mostly true. I've seen how marriage is from my parents. There are days when they're so sweetI feel like throwing up, and there are days when they argue so hard but they just argue about family things, not really about them being incompatible. So I realized that problems are gonna be part of the picture, but when its with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, problems can be an everyday thing yet you'll still have a ball.

Marriage takes work, but, I know, especially with my babe, that its absolutely worth it.

What I'm afraid of though, is several things that has nothing to do with me and babe. Leaving home, for instance. People who know our family will agree that we are just one of the wackiest, funnest family around. Tight-knit will be an understatement to describe us. They, along with my Babe, are my number one priority. We do almost everything together. Out of town trips, breakfast, dinner, going to mass. I've grown even fonder and closer with them when Babe went to work abroad and they were my constant dates. I wonder how it will be without them. I mean, from the start of our relationship, Babe and I consider Family Time and Family Day for our families sacred. But we're starting our own family soon. As much as we don't want to, we have to maintain a safe distance to learn how to be on our own.

One thing we have agreed on, is that after the wedding, I'm going with him to the Middle East so that we can both work there, save up for the house and future. As much as I look forward to living with Babe in a strange land, I don't know how I can ever battle being so away from my parents and siblings. Apart from the comfort and luxury that I experience at the confines of my home, I know I'll be yearning for the presence of my entire family on a daily basis. I miss them even on weekends without them. When this topic even comes up, friends are already betting that I'll be crying buckets the day I move out because I'll be so homesick :( I'm worried that Babe will have the hardest time with me when I get so emotional missing my family too much. But I guess, same with a man, a girl needs to do that to become truly independent. I guess the time will come when I really need to be physically separated from them, so I try to spend as much time as I can with them. People say I'm making it harder by doing that, but I know I can't spend that much time with them when I have a family of my own, so might as well do it while I can.

There are a lot of things that I look forward to with being married to Babe and one of which is serving the Lord with him. We have tons of fun when we're serving together along with our friends. Sometimes we have different points of view, but we always know how to work together on a united goal. I believe he is my mission partner. :) But then, as a woman of God, I know that I can serve Him in other ways apart from my partner. I have always believed in women empowerment, and that I want to do for the rest of my single life. I mean, for sure priorities will have to change when I get married. I'll be attending to my husband and family first and foremost. Not trying to sound heroic or anything, but I want to be able to make a change in a girl's life. A girl helping out another girl.

A lot of other must dos enter my mind when I think about the clock of my singlehood ticking. I want to be the best friend I can be, to write a breakthrough piece, to really, make a career out of writing (and I mean hardcore, real writer stuff) to be able to sing out loud in front of a crowd (videoke not included), to dance without a care in the world, to learn to drive and actually drive somewhere, to cook a normal everyday meal (an adobo or sinigang would do, not the complicated pasta dish and dessert I make for special occasions), to travel alone, to help more, to sin less, to pray more.

I guess, I just want to BE my best before I enter into a new chapter in my life. So aside from my physical preparations (health, beauty and fitness), I'm also working it out with these other things. Cliche as it may sound, I want to be complete. And like I always say, I want to be his dream girl. He deserves the best of me. I am ready to be married to him, but before that, I must be ready to leave all my single dreams behind and turn them into reality so that I can move on to making new dreams with my Babe. So for myself and for my dreamboy, I'm making the most out of my last year as a single gal.

Countdown all you want, I'm gonna conquer everything before I walk down that aisle. ;)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

PART 1: A Year From Now...

I'm getting married. :)


(super heartfelt smile follows. the kind that makes your stomach hurl in anticipation)


June 18, 2009 started with heavy rain, and I prayed that this would not be the case next year. Thankfully, this time (quarter to four, which would be the assembly time for our wedding), the sky is blue, partly cloudy, but not raining.


The previous blog was a 'one year before the "big event" updates.' This one, is some sort of a reflection-kilig mode entry. So, yes, its time to put up the WARNING: LONG READ sign.


The new old songs in my iPod had me nostalgic of all the stupid, somehow desperate moments of singlehood. Bittersweet memories. I realized how I yearned for all the drama before. When I would tune in to Dreamsounds (Wave 89.1) every night and wait for all the senti songs that reminded me of a boylet and cry just because of a song. And I would devote a lot of time to contemplate on the failure that was my lovelife. What a waste of time that was now that I think about it, but not really, because I am a writer. It was in those moments of solitude that I poured my heart out in words. I have this diary where the other side was a happy heart, and the other was a broken heart. That phase pretty much filled the latter. But I wrote really great stories of heartbreak and unrequited love then, some even got me excellent grades in my creative writing class. Maybe somehow, my journal was my constant companion and never left my side on those days. So, its safe to say, that writing is my first love.


Somehow, I realized that I was attracted to drama, to heartache then. I loved post-relationship phases. When, together with my college friends, I would get second helpings of chocolate cake, just because we're depressed and unlike boys, food has always been good to us. If a relationship ended (boylets lang, Babe is my first OFFICIAL and SERIOUS boyfriend), I'd wallow in misery, but I'd take it all in, with arms wide open. I would stalk, try to reconnect with these guys even, and stay in the pain for as long as I can. I was miserable. I didn't care if they got girls pregnant, even if they made the moves on a friend, even if they had a really long conversation with a girl they just met, right in front of me, when it was I who surprised them for their birthday! Those were really painful moments, but it was during my so-called rockstar phase (gone drinking almost every day, skipped classes) that I realized, this should be the end of an era. There must be something better for me. Like Brooke in Tree Hill, I wanted to be the lead in my own love story. I realized I wasn't gonna get married soon, so why rush? I told God I will wait, I will serve, but I will not settle for less. If He played favorites, I should be one of them.


So I served, I spent time with friends, I prayed more. I tried to become a better person for myself, and not for anyone else. And then, at the most blessed time, there he was. Not really waiting in the wings, but just there for me. As a brother, as a friend. I remember our first serious conversation when he told me, that if he was the guy I liked, he would never hurt me and let me go. I didn't pay attention to it then as I was preoccupied with another guy. So there. We were both serving, we'd exchange mini-hugs, he'd make fun of me, so hard that at one point I almost cried. But I knew he genuinely cared for me. There was this one time when I was visiting my best guy friend in the same village where he lives. If you know my friend and I, we could talk for hours and not get tired. And there he was, he stayed on and chatted with us over isaw. And that was when I realized I was looking forward to spending time together. We began to text constantly, have stolen moments in friendly gimmicks, and I guess, the rest is history.


At the end of every "relationship" that I had, I always believed that this certain guy was my "one great love." Why? Maybe because, like the stories I write, I was a sucker for unrequited love. I thought that love was synonymous to sacrifice, to pain. If you're hurting so much, then that must be love. And I cried bucket of tears for those guys. But Babe proved me wrong. He showed me that there are no compromises for true love. No excuses, no hangups. Its either you want to be with the person or you don't. And he loves being with me. If those guys got buckets from me, Babe had barrels. I've cried over him more than I have cried for all those previous guys combined. He also has chapters in the heartbroken side of my diary. No previous experience could ever prepare me for the rollercoaster ride that was me and Babe. But each time he made me cry, he replaced every tear with truckloads of love and laughter. He got me writing on the happy heart pages of my journal every so often. He makes me so happy its contagious. I was never the trooper kinda girl, but with him I feel so alive, its like I always want to share my happiness with other people. I learned to laugh at silly jokes, when my close friends know that I hated corny before (not that he's corny, he's the funniest man I know!). He's not perfect, but the longer I get to know him, the more I understand how perfect we are for each other. How we can make each other saway, and really just understand each other's quirks, strengths and weaknesses. He makes me want to become a better person, and I think the same is true for him with me.

It got me thinking, that those past men were merely stopovers, footnotes in my love story. They were not my "one great love." Because if it was so great, then why did it end in the first place? (For the record, I have forgiven these guys and even managed to be good friends with some of them. Maybe it wasn't entirely their fault anyway, but it really doesn't matter anymore)

There's really no point in comparing, because Babe is waaaay greater in every aspect. But with us, there really is no end. We might have the biggest of fights, but we never walk out on each other. We know that in the end, it is still us and love still outweighs our differences that we just have to work out our issues. That is certified forever material. I love him with all of me. And before I get too mushy, I just know, from the very start, when we prayed as a couple and offered our relationship to the Lord, that He was God's gift to me. He was the answered prayer that might have took a long time to arrive, but was very well worth the wait. I realized then, that things doesn't have to end, people don't have to leave for you to realize that they are the one you are looking for. Somehow, you will just feel that the search is over because you've found them and they are for keeps. I could state a million things to let you know why I'm marrying babe, but they probably wont fit in this blog, and really, no one else's opinion matter than mine and his. :)

I almost gave up once and thought that maybe this kind of love (romantic) is not for me, but I thank the Lord for being true to His promise in giving me the awesome awesome guy I have always dreamed about. I'm so blessed, like I have been my whole life. So, is Babe my one great love? Without a doubt, I know that he is. I can certainly say that a year from now, I'm settling down with the love of my life. Can't wait ;)


From One Tree Hill: "Believe that dreams come true everyday... Because they do."

Monday, June 15, 2009

One year to go! Updates of a June 2010 bride

It's now that time of the year when I can really start jumping and get all giddy and excited while exclaiming "One year na lang!!" Finally, it will really feel like it when people tell me, "malapit na!" Babe and I can't be more excited. For the day itself yeah, but even more on our life after.

The preparations have already started and I have booked several major suppliers, been to some nice bridal fairs, started my beauty and fitness regimen and corresponded with some possible suppliers. Thankfully, it hasn't become too crazy for me yet and I still have not transformed into Bridezilla and I think I have acquired a certain grace in the duration of the wedding preps. Maybe its because of that that some brides give off a certain relaxed aura.

Anyway, here are some of my supplier and wedding preps updates:

Church - Holy Family Parish, BF Almanza Subd., Las Pinas
Even before Babe proposed, I remember walking along the BF Almanza Streets with two of my close friends pointing to the Holy Family church and telling them that someday, they are gonna attend a wedding there. And I will be wearing white. Fast forward to after Babe proposed and when trusted advisers told us that the first thing we should book is a church, I knew somehow we were gonna land there. For me it was like homecourt. It is near, and really, has a sentimental value for the both of us since we always go to mass there. And like I mentioned in an old entry, that's where he first pictured me as his wife. That makes the church kind of non-negotiable. I can move the wedding date, but I will get married in that church. Anyway, so I inquired and was pleased to find out that the rate was really low. The lady in charge, Ate Josie, was pretty easy to deal with. So I gave my down payment of P1,000.00 and that was it. We have reserved the church for the afternoon of June 18, 2010. She told me to come back when my fiancee is here in the Philippines so she can advise us on the seminars and stuff.

Reception Venue - Portofino Clubhouse, Daanghari
I got a really good deal here. The wait was kinda long in booking this venue and I really had to tap different people for contacts, pull some strings (you need an endorsement to be able to reserve the place). Thanks to my friend Pau and her friend Tel who's a lot owner there, I was finally able to make a reservation. I almost crossed this off my list, but thankfully, we were able to work everything out. This is just so ideal for the simple and intimate dinner party that Babe and I want to have. Not to mention the rent is also really cheap. I mean, have you seen how beautiful it is?





a view of the swimming pool, from the 2nd floor




that's my sister/MOH waving... with Babe's family.

Flowers for church and entourage - Angel of Hearts
For me, booking them happened pretty fast. My sister and I went to the Wedding Expo where we met with Sir Lawrence. But it was kind of a no-brainer already, since my aunts who previously got married recommended them, and so did my fellow W@wies who I trust. And he was offering me a pretty good package valid only on the day of the expo. I just felt at ease because I showed him some pictures of floral arrangements I found on the net, and he was confident that he could do it. I don't want that many flowers anyway, just enough for understated elegance. And I'm all for the simple white and green ones lang naman, although mine has to have a bit more color. I'm actually excited for this when its time to do mock-ups. Can't wait to raid his stall in Dangwa.

Caterer - still looking! W@Wies swear by K by Cunanan and Blue Petals though. Although I'm for the latter because their packages are reaaally low. I just hope I can go for a food tasting in the near future to seal the deal.

Photographer - Jeff and Lisa Photography

Videographer - 30 FPS

After all the secrecy, I'm finally posting here who I'm getting for photo and video coverage. Like what I wrote about them in my previous entries, its just a supplier-client perfect match. Babe and I just want our day to be simple, heartfelt and fuss-free and this is how these suppliers struck us. I love that I'm in constant communication with Ms. Lisa; she's very friendly, willingly answers my questions and may I just confess that I'm a stalker of their website? How can you not stare at their pictures? They have an impeccable eye for details and are great at capturing moments that are real and romantic at the same time. I just had to do something to get them. You know how with several suppliers you get, they're not really your first choice? Like if money wasn't an issue you'd totally get a different one. That's so not the case with them. Even if I had a million bucks as budget for my wedding, I'd still go for Jeff and Lisa, in a heartbeat.

With 30 FPS, I loved that I can just go to their restaurant in Alabang when I want to meet with them, and that Sir Paul replies to my texts as promptly as possible. I also loved their onsite videos. Simple but timeless. They will surely remind us of our vows many years from now. Did I mention I got a really, really good deal with them? Among the esteemed wedding videographers, I think they have the lowest package, which they still managed to adjust for me :)

Wedding Gown/ Entourage's Gown - Dan Cadiz
No formal discussions yet, but since Tito Dan's a friend of the family, we all rely on him when we need dresses for weddings, debuts, etc., I think it's given na that he is designing my dress and that of the female members of the entourage. The moment we talk, I'll just show him some pegs, he'll sketch a design for me, I'll fall in love with it and by the end of the meeting, for sure he'll already be taking my measurements so what I have to work on is getting my wedding gown body ready. Budget? My mom isn't "Mars" (short for Mare) with him for nothing. We're so suki that I think we'll be able to get really fab dresses at lesser cost with him. Also Babe's suit perhaps? We'll see.

Hair and Makeup Artist - Mario Alondra

Like Tito Dan, Tito Mar's pretty much a given na. He's my mom's second cousin. He's not that well known in W@W, but he's popular in Las Pinas and he's really good. Politician's wives, several celebrities are some of his clients. A long line of women in our family have trusted him for their hair and makeup on their wedding day, and being a creature of habit and lover of culture and history, I'm not one to break the tradition. He did my makeup when I was conned in joing the beauty pageant in our High School, in both of my proms, my debut, relative's weddings, my sister's debut, etc. And friends and relatives give two thumbs up everytime :) Besides, its not like I need a total makeover on my wedding day. I'm going for au naturelle remember?

Hair and Makeup Artist for prenup (with J&L) - my good friend, Jinkie Simbulan. She's also really good! She doubles as my beauty adviser by the way ;)

Lights and Sound - This is also crucial since I'm counting on mood lights to create the (I qwas about to write mood, duh, kaya nga mood lights eh!) atmosphere in the reception, since I just want white everything and rely on the lights for color. Also, I won't be hiring a band for the reception so I'm counting on the sound system's DJ to be good too. I also plan to rent out an additional PA system for the church. I am now torn between two good suppliers that are W@W certified. I'm still deciding between RejectKrew and Sensitivity, although as of today, one of them already has the upper hand. To be fair, I'm meeting with both of them soon :)

Suits for male entourage and family - my friend recommended Mister K from Paranaque, and another one recommended her Tita, who used to be the apprentice of Edwin Valerio, also from Paranaque. Will have to research more on this. I was thinking of renting suits na lang for some of our groomsmen. My parents will pay for the suits of my brothers and so Babe and I will only worry about the suits of his brothers and dad.

Drapings - to be provided by one of our closest friends :) I'm so happy about this, because like I said, I just want a white, clean overall look for the reception and the white drapings will really reflect the moodlights well. I will have to show him some pegs though to give him an idea of how we want the drapings to look like. But he said it was a piece of cake for his mom and their staff.

Souvenirs - Definitely a photo booth. We're just deciding which supplier to get :)

Choir - will need one that's really affordable lang, since they'll only be singing the mass songs naman eh. Still scouting for a good group... If you can recommend anyone from the south, and my budget is actually 5,000 below only...hehehe.
Bridal car - my dad's car, Pearly. A 2008 edition Toyota Camry. Its beautiful and its free. And it will feel like home since I ride in it almost everyday.

Invites - After being tempted by several suppliers, I realized that I will do the invites myself. We just want it fun, brief, elegant and low-key. I should be able to do that. Will just look for a good supplier of paper and have a talk with my dad's friend who owns a printing company.

Hmmm... did I forget something? :) other paraphernalia like candles and stuff are basic, DIY it is.

That's it for now. So far, I think I did a pretty good job... Hehehe. As for Babe, he's doing a great job in saving as well :) a year to go and he already saved more than half of our allocated budget for the wedding. Not to mention most of the down payments were already made, care of yours truly (my little contribution to our dream wedding). And he's not losing his mind yet over my over-excitement, that's the tough part! hehehe :)

Some realizations I acquired from the wedding preps as of today: If you're having a hard time deciding between two options, close your eyes and picture yourself already marching down the aisle or having your makeup done or having the first dance, then you'll know what you truly want. Works for me, everytime. Always stay true to that picture inside your head.

Don't book on impulse. You know you're making the wrong decision when it feels like you're being hurried and forced into something you don't want. Yet, if you know you like this certain thing and you found the perfect supplier for you, you need not think hard. You'll just hear that voice inside your head saying "this is it." Of course, two heads are better than one so don't forget to consult your other half.

Love your own. When you've found and booked the supplier for you, stop comparing them to their more prominent and expensive counterparts. Focus on how they can deliver the best service on your wedding. Instead of looking for "what they don't have" in other supplier's blogs or websites, visit their blog regularly, remember why you got them in the first place, and know how their strengths can work well for your wedding. So stop obsessing on that high-end designer or that videographer that celebrities get.

Lastly, enjoy the wedding preps. REally, move at your own pace. Make the most of the bridal fairs, sAvor the moments you get inspirations for your dream wedding dress, listen to songs you want played on your reception, exchange friendly emails with your suppliers, take time to help out a W@wie in need. Engage in long conversations with your fiancee in making decisions. Its not a contest, really. Have fun and it'll feel like the most natural thing in the world.

That ends my post on my wedding-related accomplishments. I have 2 days and a year to go, technically. But I want to blog about more serious long term matter on the 18th eh... so I wrote this early na. Okay, now, on with the wedding preps!:))


Monday, June 8, 2009

My One-year beautification project** Part 2 of my vanity post**the usual long read from me

And here's the 2nd part, where I declare the things that I will do for my wedding look.

I know, I'm taking this waaay too seriously. Might give you the impression that I'm trying too hard. Hey, I'm not panget ha (not that anyone's panget, all brides are beautiful), its just that I want a really simple, yet stunning and ethereal look on our wedding day. I want that Ponds ad moment, where I will be the most radiant girl in the room, and my babe will feel like the luckiest guy on earth. That's my moment, which will only happen once in my lifetime, so I should do whatever I can to look and feel great at that particular time.

Anyway, here's what's included in my one-year beautification plan:
  • Oplan Fair-ish skin. I have always taken pride on being morena. Well, there was the phase in high school where I dabbled on a few Block and White, but as I grew up, I have learned to love my complexion. It has been one of my assets, because I believe that bronzed olive skin is sexier. But then, I want my gown to be in off-white and creamy color, and friends say the dress would look so "lutang" in bronzed skin. And I mentioned that I wanted that Ponds moment. I want to be babe's My Fair Lady on that day. So, fair skin it is. I'm not gunning for that alabaster, mestiza type though, as I don't want to look like a metathione model naman, I just want that radiant, rosy, glowy lady-like clear skin that is suited for brides. And with that, I'm trying some of the Garnier Light line of skin whitening products for the face which my friend suggested I try. I'm now using their dark spot corrector and anti-puff eye roller. I haven't tried Garnier's body line yet, but I'm now using a whitening lotion with sunblock. Hopefully that helps. At night, I also lather on Myra E lotion, and I think my sister and I are already addicted to it. My friend also told me to take Myra E 400 capsules which helps in getting fairer and healthy-looking skin. But we have tons of Vitamin E capsules from the States at home, so I'm taking those for the mean time kasi sayang naman. I'm also taking Cee Plus, Vitamin C supplement with Rose Hip that was said to do wonders for the skin especially scars and acne scars (I'm selling this by the way, so if you're interested ;) ). I have really sensitive skin so I'm quite careful on what I take in and the products I use, so I stuck to my soap and facial cleansers advised by our dermatologist. So far I haven't developed an allergy to the new products I'm trying. Yey...

  • Bleaching the hair on my upper lip area. I want a soft over-all look on my wedding day, and since I suspect I have more male hormones than any usual girl, facial hair has always been a problem. Lay Bare's threader and waxer is my bestfriend. Yet I have always been apprehensive to have the hair on my upper lip waxed or threaded. I'm not bothered by it on regular days, and I don't really think its too 'out there' but some people notice. So I brought it up during my trial makeup with the great Lorie Abraham and she told me that its best to just bleach the hairs on my upper lip so that they will be lighter and less visible. Waxing and threading may make the strands grow thicker kasi eh. Anyway, I'm still scouting for a good bleach creme, but I think I'm gonna go for the Sally Hansen line since they're known for those hair-removal products. I just hope it goes well and I don't overdo it...I don't wanna have white mustache! Anyway, Ms. Lorie said I should try it out before the wedding to see if I develop an allergy to it or if I should seek other alternatives. I loved how she picked up on things I only mentioned once. It feels like she was really listening, and sincere in dealing with me. Not too many makeup artists are like that. Sigh. But, I have a good one on my team, so no complains from me. Anyway, I hope the bleaching goes well and I get a softer, more feminine look on my wedding day.
  • Perming my eyelashes. Admittedly, I have always been manang with these kinds of stuff. I don't normally go for these things especially when it requires sitting still for hours, let alone minutes as I'm such a kitikiti. But, after Ms. Lorie's thorough explanation, I realized I needed to do it. See, I have long and thick lashes, but like the hair on my head, they're just so bagsak that they're slanted downwards. That explains why I always get smudges when applying mascara, even when I curled my lashes a number of times with an eyelash curler. So I really should have them permed so that they will curl and open up and make my eyes appear bigger. Because even if I use falsies on the day, I'll still have a problem because they'll be slanted downwards pa rin. Kaya pala ang dalas kong mapuwing! :P Anyway, I'm just waiting for a new contract in work to materialize and then I'll have more time on my hands to devote to these things. I'll probably dedicate one whole day to have my lashes permed, and to get the bleaching thing done.
  • Wear mineral makeup. This is a tip I got from W@W. I just got so curious about this that I started researching about it. Turns out this is really good for me, because I have sensitive skin and regular makeup usually expires on me. These won't. I can use them for more than a year or so. Plus they won't hurt my sensitive skin. They just seem to be a bit messy since they mostly come in powdered form, and a little more pricey than regular makeup, but I was told they also give maximum coverage, so the pros outweigh the cons.
  • Get back in shape. Okay, for most of the time, I thought people were actually exagerrating when they tell me that I've grown. But when I looked at my previous photos in Friendster and Multiply, that was when it hit me. I really lost it. I guess it was stopping boxing and exercise that really made me blow up. Thankfully, I lost a few pounds when I got sick and that made me more conscious of my diet. That partnered with constant exercise should do the trick. Three months before I meet my wedding dress designer, I also plan to take these herbal supplements my parents are taking which is really great for weight loss. Imagine my mom already lost 11 pounds on her 3rd week! It's really effective but entails a lot of sacrifice as you'll only have one meal a day. And it's a bit expensive. So, its kind of my last resort. First, I'll try if boxing and diet does it for me. I hope it does.
  • Be faithful to my beauty and fitness regimen. I know! This is the tough part. But the clock is ticking so I really have to work if I want really visible results. What's good though is I'm so motivated now. I'm updating my kikay kit in a few days, when I get the chance to spend a day in the mall. I also started devoting time to fixing myself before I leave the house for work. And with that I don't mean just getting dressed and combing my hair before I get in the car. Its making sure I apply sunblock, I look presentable and I wear accessories before I go to work. It makes me feel more confident.
Anyway, I think this entry has gotten way too long again. I hope you other readers won't think I'm too shallow or conceited. I'm just trying to be realistic. If you wanna look good on your wedding day, you have to prepare as early as now. I'm lucky to have started the preps early, I'm sure I'll see positive results as the days become closer. More than a year to go...

Just a way of measuring my progress for this year-long plan, I took a picture of me without any make-up. I'll check at least once every quarter if there are improvements (fairer, clearer skin, smaller face, slimmer arms,hehehe). So, here it is.uy, aminin niyo its not so bad! :P don't need much work naman diba? hehe.


Here's a closer look.
Haha, that's taken from my brother's Mac so I changed the background. Anyway, this is me without makeup, hopefully next time I'll have fairer skin na and smaller face.

One year? kaya yan! :))

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The bride to be's vanity post** Part 1**the usual long read from me

this is the first part of the post that will end all my kikay entries (for this quarter).

Admittedly, I have been paying too much attention to my looks these days, well, not really the looks, but my hair and skin care. I'm not really what you'd call a high-maintenance girl, my hair's still basically wash and wear most of the time and I'm a big advocate of natural beauty. But I guess at one point, being low-maintenance and au naturelle became neglect. It all started when I was on an outing with my YFC Barkada and during the morning when us girls were done taking a bath and fixing ourselves, after combing my hair and putting on lotion, I found myself staring at the other girls in the room who were all still busy applying makeup and other stuff on their faces and hair. And then, one of my girlfriends asked me, "ikaw Cams, wala ka bang kakikayan sa katawan?" I was speechless. I had thrown out most of the items in my makeup kits because they have expired. All that's left were my lip balms(no color whatsoever), eyelash curler and face powder. I haven't updated my beauty loot in ages!

That was such a wake-up call for me. I used to be Cosmogirl Cams. I was updated with most beauty and fashion trends, and friends would come to me for makeup and fashion tips. And then for some reason, the Cosmogirl part of me just left and I didn't even notice it. At first, being my usual righteous self, I put the blame on several people and circumstances. 1)my Babe, for loving the simple side of me too much, sans makeup that I just became too much of the less is more kinda girl, and for being away, hence I didn't feel the need to always look good for someone 2)my sister, who was my partner in all things kikay. She pretty much gave up too when she entered film school. I mean, she was wearing my brothers' clothes to class most of the time! And so, when she neglected her looks, I did too, 3) the strict dress code in the office which pretty much left me with no choice but wear dull slacks and collared polos and ballet flats to work, 4)my officemates in their uniforms and kind of plain lifestyle here at work that I didn't feel the need to look pretty in work compared to my media job before where I always had to dress up and be made up to level with the celebrities, 5)lack of bonding time with my girlfriends therefore no chance to play dress up or talk about kikay stuff 6)spending too much time in the boys room. We had several relatives and family friends use our room for the last quarter of 2008 and most of 2009 (they just left last week) and so we were bunking in the boys room for a while, playing wii and the like on our free time. We were getting clothes from their closet, getting rid of most of our kikay stuff to lessen the junk in their room thus, no kikay time for a long, long time. See, I got six reasons, and I really haven't began to really think just yet.

But I realized, those reasons were merely excuses. That most of the blame was really should be mine. I mean, it was I who neglected my physical appearance, who got contented in wearing those kinds of clothes to work. So it was all me. But there's no room for pointing fingers (biglang ganun samantalang kanina ang dami mong sinisi =P) Thanks to my dear friend, Cosmogirl has awaken from a long and deep slumber and is now making her way back to Cams. Especially now that she's about to become a bride. So now, I'm dead set on prettifying myself again, most specially that I'm now preparing myself for my wedding that's almost a year to go na lang.


So with my approval, my friend appointed herself as beauty consultant slash makeup artist for my wedding. Well, she won't do my makeup on the day itself, but she's doing my makeup for my prenup. She's really good and although she didn't have a formal education on it, I wouldn't call her novice for she works in a global cosmetics company and she trains the ladies in the beauty counters on how to apply makeup. So I guess she just skipped the school part, but she's just the ultimate kikay girl, I trust her completely when it comes to this aspect. There were a lot of sensible advice that I got from her, and I'm pretty much convinced that I'm buying all the products she told me to try.

My trial makeup with Ms. Lorie Abraham (which I posted here before) also had a part in my so-called reawakening. While she was working her magic on me, she was giving me tips on things that I should try for my wedding. If my friend was subtle in the products she advised me to try, Ms. Lorie was more forward. You know, she told me to try out several beauty trends that I wouldn't really think of going for, but when she explained it to me, I realized they were practical beauty tips and I need to give them a try. While she was working, she kept on admiring my assets and gave me tips on how to highlight them and several things to try out before the wedding, so I would know if they work on me or I would develop an allergic reaction to them since I have sensitive skin. When she was done with my makeup, she told me that since I was blessed with good features, I just need a few makeup to look put together and I'm all set. That was such a boost. I felt so confident and so eager to resume my beauty regimen after that.

And not for anything, I'm thankful that I got sick and was hospitalized for a few weeks because I was able to assess certain things that I do to abuse my body, like eating and drinking certain foods, lack of exercise, etc. And now that I sort of lost weight and was able to find love on fruits again, I feel more radiant and energized to go on with feeling healthy and beautiful.

The gloomy weather's being a wee bit unhelpful, but I'm fighting every urge to be tamad to get up from bed and start neglecting my looks once again. It's even nicer now because my sister has also started to become conscious of her looks again. I guess its because we got our pink, girly room back :)

So hello world! CosmogirlCams is so back! :))

**if I can't get enough of blogging about all things kikay and vain, they will be at http://cosmogirlcams.blogspot.com

Monday, May 25, 2009

on part 2 (juday-ryan) - more on friendship and striking similarities

as you might have guessed...

Anyway, the two-part wedding special was already aired in ABS-CBN, and I loved it, obvi. This was really the celebrity wedding that I really, really liked, maybe because, like a close girlfriend of mine, I see a lot of myself in the superstar bride. Naks naman, Juday, ikaw ba yan? :P

nah, its just that I share the same doting qualities with her. The type that is strong and can live on her own but chooses to be loving and submissive to her partner, the type who just loves laughing with her friends and her fiancee. A little frilly, but who's all about love and romance and friendship and humor.

I just see a lot of me in her, a lot of my babe in Ryan (the private, funny guy type), a lot of my friends in their friends. I guess, bottomline is, they behaved like real people, which is why many real people identified with them.

And where would Juday be without her longtime guy/gay bestfriend? The one who told their story in part 2 of the wedding special. Its the person who has been there from the start. The one guy who has been the bride's chaperone during the times when the groom hasn't showed up in her doorstep just yet. The patient listening end of the bride's rants about her fiancee or her endless stories about how the love of her life swept her off her feet again...

Why do I know this guy so well? Its because if Juday has Direk Nico, I also have my guy bestfriend. He's not gay though like Juday's. He my go-to person when I'm bored and I need someone to talk to or who comes with me when I need to go somewhere. Next to my Babe, he's the one guy who never fails to make me laugh. He can make a joke at me, or at my babe without having to fear we're gonna get mad because he knows that we won't. When Babe was still here and he needs to go to the basketball court to practice, he'll leave me with this friend's house where we'll chat endlessly and Babe just picks me up after playing. He has been there for us since Day 1. And I mean that literally, because we were with him when I gave my most precious yes to Babe. I mean, he was the one who planted the whole thing. When babe was still courting me, he talked to me and made it known to me that Babe was wondering if I would ever say Yes. So I told him that Babe wasn't even asking me that question, so how can I answer? He relayed that piece of info to Babe, and that might have given him the guts to ask me the question. And that's how Day 1 began.

He's the guy who was first to ask us all the awkward questions upfront, and first to defend our relationship from those nosy people who wouldn't mind their own business. Its because he knew that I made a choice, and made a big step, and he knew that I'm serious about this guy, and he's serious about me, so he's just there to support us. He never crosses his boundaries, never taking a side, but just being there for us, for me.

So there, I just thought of him today, while watching the second part of the wedding special. I think every girl should have that kind of guy bestfriend - non-romantic, frank, loyal, funny and supportive. Aren't Juday and I so lucky? He might think that he's not so important in this whole wedding, but the truth is, he's very special for me and Babe. Especially for me. I never would have gone this far in a relationship if he hadn't been there to support me and defend me and encourage me and listen to me during my desperate times. And he's ever willing to be a friend to Babe as well. He's gonna be one of those standing beside us to become witness to our union. He's going to be one of our secondary sponsors.

Anyway, I'm sure you all have your share of great friendships which you also celebrate in the wedding preps.

Another nice part about the juday-ryan wedding was the bond babe and I form through it. I remember having that conversation wtih him when I told him that Ryan Agoncillo cried during their wedding dance. So it got him to thinking if he'll also cry on our wedding day. I teased him about being a crybaby and told him we should have a bet on it. I don't remember how that conversation ended, but I knew I was very happy we had that talk. We were bonding because of this wedding.

This may be the last of my post about the so-called wedding of the year, but, seriously, it tops my list of all the celebrity weddings in the entire history. idol!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A first.... (trial makeup with Lorie Abraham)

Admittedly, this is one of the things I like about bridal fairs. Trial makeup! Although I really am not seriously looking for an HMUA for my wedding since I have a relative who has done it for all the brides and debs in the family and who's really good so I'm all set with him to do my hair and makeup on my wedding day. But, since my sister really loved her makeup trial on the last wedding fair we went to, I braved my fears of talking with a different makeup artist and have my own trial makeup on the wedding fair.

I tried going to several exhibitors, but it just ends up not working out because I just wanted a hassle-free day and they just aren't making it happen for me. And so, I passed by Lorie Abraham's booth and although she was too busy doing wonders for another girl, her AE gave me a pleasant smile and chatted me up as well. I was at ease dealing with her so I was convinced to do the trial makeup.

When it was my turn, the fist thing I noticed was that she really used high-end quality brands for her makeup and tools. No wonder the price was also kind of high-end. Next thing, Ms. Lorie was really nice. Unlike other HMUAs I've worked with, she really took the time to ask me what concept I like for my makeup. I told her that I wanted a bronzy look, but my babe wanted it natural and without makeup. After that she knew exactly what to do and she even gave me tips on how my wedding gown would compliment my morena complexion, and what beauty trends to try before my wedding day. All of her advices made sense and I really enjoyed listening to her give me tips while she was working her magic on me. Once in a while, I'd take a really good look in the mirror and smile at the progress. Hehehe. She was really good. And she really achieved the natural blooming look that I wanted. I was really pleased. The makeup wasn't overly done and I really recognized myself in my reflection. Without any contest, she was great.

So, it may be one of the rare times that I'll be posting my pictures here, but I'm just so proud of it so I'm gonna let you see :)


the photos are kinda dark and mejo oily na because that was hours after the session, but I hope you got a nice glimpse of it naman.. Because that's basically how I look naman talaga. Only better because she has really defined by brows (groomed it 'cause they were starting to be unruly again), hid some blemishes, brightened up my aura with some blush-on, and painted my usually lip-balmed kissers. I just felt that I looked so chic and polished. I loved it, obvi.

The ultimate reason why I'm really so proud about it is because Babe loved it. Its actually the first time he complimented my makeup. Its because he always wants things to be simple, therefore, he always tells me that he likes me better without makeup. But when I sent the photos to him via email, he was so happy and really thought I looked beautiful. Here's the kilig part, he told me "nung nakita ko yung mga pictures mo, naisip ko sa sarili ko na ang sarap mo talagang mahalin." sooper smile na ko after that... I just wanted to look pretty for him on our wedding day. I'm glad he liked me with makeup :)Anyway, he really liked it kasi nga hindi makapal ang makeup. Even when I told him that the rates are kinda expensive, he said it was okay if I really like her.

Too bad I'm all set with my makeup artist slash relative. But don't get me wrong, he's good rin naman. So for those looking for a really good and reputable makeup artist, try Ms. Lorie. You'll really feel at ease with her. And judging from the service I got, I'll say she's worth every penny. If I didn't have good makeup artists as a relative and friend, I'll go for her in a heartbeat. :))

Friday, May 22, 2009

lets talk about the dress...

I am trying to be as discreet as I can about the details of my wedding and keep a low-profile on the themes and concepts, but I have always wanted to talk about what I'm gonna wear on the big day. It's one part I'm most excited about. So, here are some of my inspirations for my wedding gown... they're quite a lot, but I hope these will give you a glimpse of the kind of girl that I am - dreamy (or dreamer), chic, hopeless romantic, low-key and fuss-free.

I have always known that I wanted the most beautiful dress on my wedding day. . Growing up, my mom and aunts were fond of dressing me up especially on occasions that it kinda stayed with me. I'm a clothes/dress person as opposed to being a bag/shoe lady. I just feel so wonderful when I have on a nice dress. It just makes me feel like I'm on top of the world and everything is and will be perfect. Like I can do anything. And so, it's not very surprising that my wedding gown is one of the non-negotiables on our special day. It has to be THE ONE I picture when I close my eyes and daydream...

Its the one dress that will make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. It will be just like I dreamed of wearing when I was a little girl...something that makes me feel like a beautiful flower... like the picture below...


Although, I don't want to feel like a little girl on my wedding day. I want to feel chic and stylish. And not really over the top. This dress from Marchesa looked so stunning and sexy.

I also envisioned my dress to make me feel like an ethereal goddess, which makes a strong reference to why I'm partial to empire-cut dresses and flowy gowns as opposed to princess dresses and ballgowns... the flow in this Maggie Sottero number below is really captivating. The length is just perfect and the train...


Although flowers is the overall theme for my gown and my entourage's dresses, one of my fashionable friends commented that putting flowers upfront on my wedding gown might make me look like a flower girl. I don't want that. She suggested I try incorporating my flower theme without going overboard and having flower-ish accents on my gown.

In a cocktail event for work, I saw a popular designer wear this beige dress with petal bustier and it was then I realized that I should do that instead of putting flowers on my bustier. I was reminded of my childhood dreams to wear a dress I saw in this baduy tagalog movie where the leading lady was wearing a pink dress with a petal bustier. It was in the early nineties but I knew I always wanted to wear something like that. Luckily, I came across the finale of project runway season 5 and saw that Leanne's finale collection was kind of inspired by flowers.

I like the petal bustier in this dress below. It looks chic, edgy yet still romantic. I'm also using this picture to refer to the color that I want to use (the aqua for my entourage's dresses, the cream for mine).


I just liked the flowy overlay of the dress below.
Though I didn't think Leane would be up on the running on the contest, I actually ended up liking her final collection and making it a big reference to my wedding dress. This dress below is my favorite and might be the closest to how I like my wedding dress to look.

And to finalize the flowery romantic theme, here's the backview of Claudine Barreto's wedding gown. I know, I just can't pass up on flowers for my wedding dress. So I'll have them at the back na lang to also serve as accent to my panel train.

Yeah, as you might have guessed, I kinda know what I'm talking about. Its just that, like every girl, I have pictured my dream wedding dress a thousand times in my head. I have also done a lot of research on the terminologies in the world of fashion. Anyway, like I said, it has to be the dress I imagine. Kinda like the pictures above, but waaaay better.

I have yet to meet with my designer, who's a close friend of the family, and I have always been one of his muses. Everytime we bump into each other he keeps on telling me to meet with him about my dress already. I just think it might be too early for a June 2010 bride to have her wedding gown made. Considering I already know what I like and I know he can make it happen for me, I'm sure it'll be easy then.

So there... that was a glimpse of my inspirations, a glimpse of me. I pray that this dream comes true for me. That when the moment comes for me to see my wedding dress, all my princess, goddess dreams will be fulfilled and upon seeing me on that white dress, my prince will feel like the luckiest guy on earth.