Been there, Done that! (Reminders from one bride to another, from one who's been out there)

As much as I want to, I'm not so good with giving tips. I'll just lose my train of thought after a few minutes, and we'll be on a different topic before we know it.But I think I'm good at sharing. At telling stories. I might be yakking away for a long time, but at least I try to be animated and humorous about it.

So in my effort to reach out to other brides who are gracious or maybe stressed out enough to read this blog entry, I'm gonna try to relate what I experienced during the wedding by sharing. From realizations on what did really well, what really helped me, and what could have been done better. And from this, I hope you learn a thing or two, be reminded of the things that really matter, or at least have a good laugh with me, as I recall some experiences from what we call our "big day."

• I'm an OC bride, and for those who are like me, let me tell you the real deal: It's okay to be OC... just as long as you let go on the wedding day. Being an OC planner did wonders for my wedding. Because I was like that, every important detail I specified was followed. My coordinators (who are our closest friends helping out) didn't have such a hard time. I planned everything, they did the implementation. I was OC with everything, but I knew that to really enjoy our wedding day, I had to let go sooner or later. For me, it came later. Up to the day before, I was typing in files, looking at the checklists, guestlists, reviewing the contracts. But that was because I was determined to let it all go on the wedding day. So after going Ms. OC, sending in all files to our coordinators, and giving them last minute reminders (everything talaga that I can think of, and I told them to ask me anything na, para the on the wedding day they won't have to ask me), turning over every item and paraphernalia that they would need, I sent an email and text message to all our suppliers, telling them that I will no longer entertain phone calls, questions or clarifications. Instead, I have forwarded to them the contact details of the coordinators so that they can get in touch with each other regarding the wedding preps. I told them that I will be resting and preparing myself for the wedding day, and I trust them that they will make everything alright. After that, I let go. Hands-off on the wedding preparations. During the morning of the wedding day, I gave both of my phones to my maid of honor. It was hard to let go, but after feeling rested and relaxed, and after seeing that our friends and suppliers really did a great job in coordinating everything, I knew we made the right decision. They felt good that we trusted them, and they surpassed our expectations. At the start, I thought of getting a professional team of OTDs na lang, since I was an OC bride nga, I didn't want to feel bad if my friends disappointed us on our wedding. But after having a good talk with our friends, and knowing that they are capable and they would love to do it for us, there was no second-guessing. On the wedding day, they didn't stress us out at all. They took care of everything. And they loved the feeling afterwards. One of my friends who was in-charge was ecstatic because the suppliers gave her a pat on the back, congratulating her for a job well-done. It saved me a lot of money, and a lot of stress.
• The day before the wedding, I had a mani-pedi, foot spa and a body scrub. Some brides do it the week before, or days before, but I knew I would just ruin my manicure if I don't do it the day before, and I'd still be so stressed out by then. So after my beauty routine, a really relaxing body scrub, I felt great and I felt glowing. It was like the hardest part was over, and I was ready to be a bride. The night before, after reading my vows and saying a prayer, I already felt like sleeping beauty. My fear that I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before and have breakouts on my wedding day didn't happen. I felt relaxed and at ease.
• On the day of the wedding, before the suppliers came in, I already had my me-time. It happened after breakfast. I'm not exactly sure how it happened that I had the hotel suite all to myself. So there I said a prayer, contemplated for a bit, and sang out loud while watching music videos. That really calmed my nerves. It wasn't like I was preparing for my wedding, it felt like hours before preparing to go on a concert. I really felt relaxed and ready for the busy day to come. It helped that I had a great breakfast with my family, and we stopped talking in high tones. I know they were all anxious too, but we kinda have the relaxed vibe at our suite, and we just focused on savoring the moments. I approached them in a relaxed manner, and vice versa. Have a moment to yourself. Even for just 10 minutes before everything gets crazy.
• Don't second-guess your decisions, but have a really good Plan B. From what I have learned from my events class, there should be no Plan C, because Plan B should be as good as Plan A. So as our wedding falls on the month of June, we were really apprehensive about the weather. We had an outdoor event. We did the drill, we went to Sta. Clara and offered eggs. We went to mass consecutively, for the intention of the whole wedding as well. Of course, we still had Plan B. To transfer one part of the reception to the indoor function room, while the rest that wouldn't fit would be tented outside. It was good enough, but of course, we're still hoping for Plan A. Two days before the wedding, my caterer's tent supplier said that they can't do backup for our event. It's either we get them and set up the tent, or we don't. I thought about the costing. What if it didn't rain? Then we would be wasting a ton of money and a lovely floor plan. So we had to let go of that supplier and look for another one that can do backup. I was only able to finalize the deal with the new supplier the day before the wedding. On the day of the wedding, I noticed my maid of honor (my sister), and our coordinator, pacing back and forth looking at the floor plans that we have. When I asked, they said that the caterer is having second thoughts on plan A because the sky seemed a bit unsure too. So they asked if I could be ready for Plan B. We talked about it, and we all felt that we weren't ready to give up yet. The weather seemed to be accommodating our plans so far. So we decided to still go for Plan A. At the church, it drizzled for less than a minute, and it was sunny again. It didn't rain. We were faithful, the Lord is faithful. When we got to the reception venue, the setup couldn't be any more lovely and romantic. It was a good thing we stuck to our decision.
• What we forgot was this: if everything happens according to our wishes for a no-rain wedding, it will be the complete opposite. It was so hot on our wedding day! We didn't anticipate that it will be that dry. Everyone was sweating at the church and during the reception. We were all good sports about it, but if we just believed that the Lord wouldn't let it rain on our wedding day 100%, we could have just rented fans or air coolers instead of backup tents.
• Don't neglect your bodies, and have a good rest. I was very religious in my beauty routine and drinking vitamins up until maybe a week before the wedding. I forgot about my Vitamin C and E. Thankfully, I didn't get sick on the day of the wedding (although I had a migraine when we got back to the hotel), but the groom had a cold. He was so conscious about it throughout the entire ceremony that we just had to laugh about it. He even mistakenly used the priest's handkerchief to wipe his nose. Thankfully, the priest was my uncle. Later on, I learned, that he wasn't able to sleep well the night before.
• Eat before going to church. Its true what they say, that you might not be able to eat on your own wedding reception. Before, Babe and I swore that we won't care what anybody says, we will eat on our reception. We won't pass up on all that good food we have paid for. But on the wedding day, its different. While waiting at the car, the waiter already served us the cocktail food. Everything looked yummy! We tried to eat some, but then when we heard our emcee's voice calling out the names of our entourage, we knew we also had to stop eating and get ready. When we got to our table, picture taking began and as we wanted everyone to feel part of the programme, we went table hopping and mingled with all our guests. By the time we got back to our table, we were served with the most beautiful plate of all mouthwatering dishes. We tried to eat, but our friends came up with a really good programme that we were so preoccupied with it, and when you're up there, you really can't think of anything but what is happening around you, people taking chances to have their photos taken with you. And of course, you'd do anything to make their efforts of going to your wedding well worth it. The food was right in front of us, but we barely touched it. After the reception, we had packed food for us at the hotel. But we were both tired and in a state of shock and happiness, that we forgot all about it and ended up bringing it home with us. If there was anything I regret about the whole wedding, its that we weren't able to eat the sumptuous feast that we have prepared. Everyone said that the food was great. And we could only smile. Brides out there, if you're still not done with the food-tasting, be sure you make the most out of it. don't just taste, EAT! Or else, you'll be having a monstrous craving afterward, just like I do now =(
• Break-in your shoes at least the night before. I started walking in my shoes the whole night before. Strutting, trying to run and dance with it. And even though I kinda felt silly, I'm still glad I did. Saved me from an embarrassing experience of tripping from it.
• For the sake of the wedding pictures. If you feel like crying, go do it. Holding back will make you look like you are sneezing in pictures. I was blessed that our photographer reminded me of this. I didn't bawl out, but just freely let the tears flow. That's the whole purpose of a touch-up anyway. It saved me from having a lot of awkward pictures.
• If you have personal vows, practice reading it before you go to church. You will feel confident reading it in public right after.
• Finally, and what might seem like the whole point of this blog entry, just relax! Remember that despite all the hangups and setbacks and epic fails that you will see right in front of you on your wedding, what matters is that you have your groom with you and after this will be a lifetime of togetherness. I've been there. The worst thing that can happen is it not happening. But it is. So when you're there, breathe and relax. Everything's under control. The moment the doors opened for me and I stepped inside the church, the main vocalist in our choir, singing my entrance song was out of key. He went on and on off-pitch. But instead of me throwing a fit about it, it made me laugh. And I saw my groom's face and he didn't care. He was looking at me, crying. We couldn't care less. From being just a far-fetched dream, our wedding was turning into a reality. The church's coordinator was ruining the moment by telling me to kick underneath my wedding dress as it was long and it was keeping me from gliding. She was irritating, but I didn't care. When I met my groom, he joked about kicking the coordinator instead. And then I knew, we were there as ourselves. We were off to a good start. I am a worrier. Admittedly, I worry more than half the people I know. But on my wedding day, I did what I thought I could never do - I relaxed. And as far as I can remember, there wasn't a moment I didn't like about my wedding day. I'm the happiest bride I know :)

So I guess that's it. I don't know for sure if what I wrote will help you, but for me it did. And I can only hope for the best for you, pretty bride to be. Be fearless. Trust in the Lord. Trust in the love of your fiancee, the love of your family and friends that they will be the best for you on your wedding day. Trust in yourself, that you did and can do whatever there is to be done. I've been there. This OC, overly anxious, clumsy, scatterbrained, laidback dreamer bride has made it. I'm sure you will too. ;))

love, Cams

The Scare

A week before the wedding, Babe and I agreed that we would not be seeing each other until the day itself. To spend more time with our families and to build up on the excitement. From the time we parted on our last night, we really held up to our deal, and even if we were at the same places (happened many times), with the help of our friends, we managed to not see each other despite close calls.

But of course, being the OC bride that I am, I gave him his schedule on the day, and reminded him of the time he should leave from the hotel and proceed to the church. I had a different plan for him on how to spend his last days as a single guy, but I let him be. Especially since the whole gang (the boys) were already at the hotel the night before. They were doing the programme, taking care of the details, while watching the Finals of the NBA series Lakers vs. Boston Celtics on the morning of the wedding. I was already in relaxed bride mode, so I trusted him and our friends that everything was under control.

We were calling and texting in the morning, but after lunch, it was crazy busy. There were so many people in our suite and as soon as I got dressed, the pictorial started. Time flew by so quickly and before I knew, it was three o'clock, and we needed to go down and head to the church. The photographers and our coordinator-friends made sure that we wouldn't see each other on the way down to the hotel, so they told me to wait until Babe has already left the building. I was even left with one of the videographers for a few minutes, until we heard that the groom has already left and we can already go down.

And so we were there at the lobby, which was really small, it would be impossible for us not to see each other in case he's still there.

So I was sitting there with my parents, waiting for our car that would bring us to the church. And then I noticed. His friends was still there, his family was still there. I specifically told him that they should be at the church by 3pm.

But more than that, I realized, if they were still all there, to whom did the groom ride with on his way to the church? And then I noticed, they were all going up and down the building. His best men were still there with their wives. I saw his parents, his mom greeted me and said I looked beautiful. So... if the groom was not with the people that he was supposed to be with, then, WHERE IS THE GROOM?!

I started to panic, as they were all asking each other where Babe was. Each of them thought he was with the other. They said they left him at the car to wait, as they picked up the other friends, but when they got to the car, he wasn't there, and the key wasn't there. So they lost the groom. Our on-the-day coordinator, who is also one of our closest friends, must have noticed that I was aware of what was happening. She came up to me and reassured me that everything was under control. I managed to smile, but nervous drops of sweat trickled down my face.

What followed could have been the longest 10 minutes of my life. I was worried about Babe. For a few minutes, I contemplated on whether he has gotten cold feet. Did he change his mind and run away? But I know Babe won't do that. He's not a coward and he loves me. And then, I thought, what if something bad happened to him? What if he was kidnapped as part of an insensitive joke? What if he was abducted(yes, me and my crazy imagination)? In my mind, I was already praying... "Lord, as long as he is safe..." and I was already starting to tear up. But I knew it would ruin my makeup and we don't want any more delays now, don't we? So I just continued to pray.

And then after what has been a nervewracking moment for me, they found him. At the empty lot beside the building. Contemplating. Sure and ready as ever. And I uttered a prayer of thanks. They made their way to the church and soon after, we did too. I was happy again :)

At the church, when it was finally my turn to walk down the aisle, I saw my groom, the love of my life, teary eyed as he approached me. The look on his face was priceless.

When we were walking, I also broke into tears. I told him that he scared me a while ago, when he was nowhere to be found.

Later on, I learned that he didn't know people were looking for him. Our photographer, Sir Jeff, told him to hide, as I was already on my way down. He didn't have time to tell any one of his companions where he was going. He was hiding in the bushes. Typical Babe. Doing what was unexpected, not knowing that I was going crazy and being upset. But I love him, even when he's like that. And typical me. Worrying about him, even when there is no need to. And he loves me, because I'm like that.

The Aftermath...

No, there wasn't such a thing in our wedding such as an aftermath, except maybe for the migraine I had the day after. And the funny sight of my husband removing the dozens of hairpins in my head on our wedding night. I swear, that moment was priceless. When he told me that I should have called on our close female friend (who was also staying at the hotel) to help me remove the pins on my head. It was really taxing for a guy, but he did it lovingly. His first duty as a husband.

It was a great experience, being married. After the ceremony, Babe and I were in cloud nine. We relished the feeling of being the stars of the night, and of course, finally, we are one and we can be together as much as we want. The love of our friends and family, and our love for each other was eminent that day.

It was a wonderful feeling, being a bride. I felt like a princess, a goddess, and a little girl and a grown woman rolled into one. I have been preparing for that day for so long, and I have been wanting to be a bride ever since, and when that moment came, the feeling was great, and knowing that it was real was even greater. I wasn't daydreaming anymore. It was happening.

And now that we're done receiving and opening gifts, now that the greetings and messages stopped pouring in on Facebook and I have finally replied to almost everyone, after the lovely honeymoon, now that Babe is back to the Middle East for work and I'm also back to work and back to my homebase, now that my beautiful, beautiful wedding dress is in the cleaners for a rather expensive dry cleaning, I realized that, I am no longer a BRIDE, but now a WIFE.

Being a bride was an experience I will forever treasure. And maybe, on our 2oth anniversary and if we are still in a good place, I will wear my wedding dress again and Babe will marry me again. But it won't be the same of course. It was great while it lasted. Epic even. But now I have to move on to the next chapter.

Now that I'm no longer a bride, I'm thinking it's time to close this blog and start a new one when we have settled down. Time to start writing again on my Desperate Housewives covered journal. It only seems right to do that.

So is this goodbye?...

Not without me sharing everything I can about the wedding. This blog, some readers and mostly writing has helped me a lot throughout this journey. To clear my mind, be reminded of the steps I need to take, to help me ease up and laugh about everything that happened. So in a few days, you'll see the end of this blog, but I'm not heading out without a bang. As you know me as a master of long reads, I will be posting a series of blog entries about different aspects, moments and experiences that I had on the wedding day. It just won't fit in one blog entry. Some tips that might help other bride-to-bes. Or just true stories to make you laugh and pretty much relax, as the wedding preparations can be quite a hassle.

Before, I've shared that I love looking at wedding photos and onsite videos of other beautiful brides. I know, I've had too much wedding porn, but come to think about it, it really helped me in my preparations, gave me beautiful ideas that were put to use for the concept of the whole wedding, and showed me what to expect on my wedding day. I used to admire the real brides that I saw on pictures and videos, I was in awe of how radiant and glowing they all were. And looking at them too much, the vibe must have gave off on me. Or it must be my husband's love, but I sure felt like a radiant and glowing bride that day. Like the ones I've seen in pictures. So who am I not to share? I owe it to this blog, and all the bridal blogs I've read, to impart what happened, on the party, on the big event, on the joyous and special moment that is my wedding day. It's quite a task, but there's nothing a bride can't do.

So much for the long read. The series of my farewell Cams the bride wedding posts comes after this.

Here is Camille, CAMS, the bride

Thank you Lord! Finally! :)

The day wasn't perfect, it wasn't a perfect wedding, but I wasn't a perfect bride. But it was a beautiful day. It was a beautiful wedding, and I felt beautiful. I was a beautiful blushing bride, because I was myself on that day. More than Cams the Bride, it was Cams, the giddy, overly romantic, laidback and sensitive Cams, marrying the love of her life.