my wedding dress mood board :)

thanks to Polyvore and Adobe Photoshop, its finally here! :)

PART 2: A Year From Now...

...I'm entering a new chapter in my life. Marriage.

Being the hardcore romantic that I am, I can say that I've dreamed of my wedding my whole life. Its the thought that calms me and puts me off to sleep at night like a lullaby. Sometimes, I feel like the wedding preps can go on like a breeze and that getting married is actually easy.

Now being married, that's a whole different level. Its a matter of life...until death. Its the gate to this whole new different chapter, a whole new reality. A whole new you, and a whole new him. What you are now as a couple might cease to exist when you enter marriage. Well, at least that's what they say.

It's building a family together, and raising kids and reaching dreams together. For most people, marriage is what defines what kind of person you will be ten, twenty, fifty years from now.

Yes. Marriage is a big word. But I'm not afraid of it. I always tell people that. That when other girls in their early twenties are just not ready to get hitched yet, I'm willing to make that jump head on. And its mostly true. I've seen how marriage is from my parents. There are days when they're so sweetI feel like throwing up, and there are days when they argue so hard but they just argue about family things, not really about them being incompatible. So I realized that problems are gonna be part of the picture, but when its with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, problems can be an everyday thing yet you'll still have a ball.

Marriage takes work, but, I know, especially with my babe, that its absolutely worth it.

What I'm afraid of though, is several things that has nothing to do with me and babe. Leaving home, for instance. People who know our family will agree that we are just one of the wackiest, funnest family around. Tight-knit will be an understatement to describe us. They, along with my Babe, are my number one priority. We do almost everything together. Out of town trips, breakfast, dinner, going to mass. I've grown even fonder and closer with them when Babe went to work abroad and they were my constant dates. I wonder how it will be without them. I mean, from the start of our relationship, Babe and I consider Family Time and Family Day for our families sacred. But we're starting our own family soon. As much as we don't want to, we have to maintain a safe distance to learn how to be on our own.

One thing we have agreed on, is that after the wedding, I'm going with him to the Middle East so that we can both work there, save up for the house and future. As much as I look forward to living with Babe in a strange land, I don't know how I can ever battle being so away from my parents and siblings. Apart from the comfort and luxury that I experience at the confines of my home, I know I'll be yearning for the presence of my entire family on a daily basis. I miss them even on weekends without them. When this topic even comes up, friends are already betting that I'll be crying buckets the day I move out because I'll be so homesick :( I'm worried that Babe will have the hardest time with me when I get so emotional missing my family too much. But I guess, same with a man, a girl needs to do that to become truly independent. I guess the time will come when I really need to be physically separated from them, so I try to spend as much time as I can with them. People say I'm making it harder by doing that, but I know I can't spend that much time with them when I have a family of my own, so might as well do it while I can.

There are a lot of things that I look forward to with being married to Babe and one of which is serving the Lord with him. We have tons of fun when we're serving together along with our friends. Sometimes we have different points of view, but we always know how to work together on a united goal. I believe he is my mission partner. :) But then, as a woman of God, I know that I can serve Him in other ways apart from my partner. I have always believed in women empowerment, and that I want to do for the rest of my single life. I mean, for sure priorities will have to change when I get married. I'll be attending to my husband and family first and foremost. Not trying to sound heroic or anything, but I want to be able to make a change in a girl's life. A girl helping out another girl.

A lot of other must dos enter my mind when I think about the clock of my singlehood ticking. I want to be the best friend I can be, to write a breakthrough piece, to really, make a career out of writing (and I mean hardcore, real writer stuff) to be able to sing out loud in front of a crowd (videoke not included), to dance without a care in the world, to learn to drive and actually drive somewhere, to cook a normal everyday meal (an adobo or sinigang would do, not the complicated pasta dish and dessert I make for special occasions), to travel alone, to help more, to sin less, to pray more.

I guess, I just want to BE my best before I enter into a new chapter in my life. So aside from my physical preparations (health, beauty and fitness), I'm also working it out with these other things. Cliche as it may sound, I want to be complete. And like I always say, I want to be his dream girl. He deserves the best of me. I am ready to be married to him, but before that, I must be ready to leave all my single dreams behind and turn them into reality so that I can move on to making new dreams with my Babe. So for myself and for my dreamboy, I'm making the most out of my last year as a single gal.

Countdown all you want, I'm gonna conquer everything before I walk down that aisle. ;)

PART 1: A Year From Now...

I'm getting married. :)

(super heartfelt smile follows. the kind that makes your stomach hurl in anticipation)


June 18, 2009 started with heavy rain, and I prayed that this would not be the case next year. Thankfully, this time (quarter to four, which would be the assembly time for our wedding), the sky is blue, partly cloudy, but not raining.


The previous blog was a 'one year before the "big event" updates.' This one, is some sort of a reflection-kilig mode entry. So, yes, its time to put up the WARNING: LONG READ sign.


The new old songs in my iPod had me nostalgic of all the stupid, somehow desperate moments of singlehood. Bittersweet memories. I realized how I yearned for all the drama before. When I would tune in to Dreamsounds (Wave 89.1) every night and wait for all the senti songs that reminded me of a boylet and cry just because of a song. And I would devote a lot of time to contemplate on the failure that was my lovelife. What a waste of time that was now that I think about it, but not really, because I am a writer. It was in those moments of solitude that I poured my heart out in words. I have this diary where the other side was a happy heart, and the other was a broken heart. That phase pretty much filled the latter. But I wrote really great stories of heartbreak and unrequited love then, some even got me excellent grades in my creative writing class. Maybe somehow, my journal was my constant companion and never left my side on those days. So, its safe to say, that writing is my first love.


Somehow, I realized that I was attracted to drama, to heartache then. I loved post-relationship phases. When, together with my college friends, I would get second helpings of chocolate cake, just because we're depressed and unlike boys, food has always been good to us. If a relationship ended (boylets lang, Babe is my first OFFICIAL and SERIOUS boyfriend), I'd wallow in misery, but I'd take it all in, with arms wide open. I would stalk, try to reconnect with these guys even, and stay in the pain for as long as I can. I was miserable. I didn't care if they got girls pregnant, even if they made the moves on a friend, even if they had a really long conversation with a girl they just met, right in front of me, when it was I who surprised them for their birthday! Those were really painful moments, but it was during my so-called rockstar phase (gone drinking almost every day, skipped classes) that I realized, this should be the end of an era. There must be something better for me. Like Brooke in Tree Hill, I wanted to be the lead in my own love story. I realized I wasn't gonna get married soon, so why rush? I told God I will wait, I will serve, but I will not settle for less. If He played favorites, I should be one of them.


So I served, I spent time with friends, I prayed more. I tried to become a better person for myself, and not for anyone else. And then, at the most blessed time, there he was. Not really waiting in the wings, but just there for me. As a brother, as a friend. I remember our first serious conversation when he told me, that if he was the guy I liked, he would never hurt me and let me go. I didn't pay attention to it then as I was preoccupied with another guy. So there. We were both serving, we'd exchange mini-hugs, he'd make fun of me, so hard that at one point I almost cried. But I knew he genuinely cared for me. There was this one time when I was visiting my best guy friend in the same village where he lives. If you know my friend and I, we could talk for hours and not get tired. And there he was, he stayed on and chatted with us over isaw. And that was when I realized I was looking forward to spending time together. We began to text constantly, have stolen moments in friendly gimmicks, and I guess, the rest is history.


At the end of every "relationship" that I had, I always believed that this certain guy was my "one great love." Why? Maybe because, like the stories I write, I was a sucker for unrequited love. I thought that love was synonymous to sacrifice, to pain. If you're hurting so much, then that must be love. And I cried bucket of tears for those guys. But Babe proved me wrong. He showed me that there are no compromises for true love. No excuses, no hangups. Its either you want to be with the person or you don't. And he loves being with me. If those guys got buckets from me, Babe had barrels. I've cried over him more than I have cried for all those previous guys combined. He also has chapters in the heartbroken side of my diary. No previous experience could ever prepare me for the rollercoaster ride that was me and Babe. But each time he made me cry, he replaced every tear with truckloads of love and laughter. He got me writing on the happy heart pages of my journal every so often. He makes me so happy its contagious. I was never the trooper kinda girl, but with him I feel so alive, its like I always want to share my happiness with other people. I learned to laugh at silly jokes, when my close friends know that I hated corny before (not that he's corny, he's the funniest man I know!). He's not perfect, but the longer I get to know him, the more I understand how perfect we are for each other. How we can make each other saway, and really just understand each other's quirks, strengths and weaknesses. He makes me want to become a better person, and I think the same is true for him with me.

It got me thinking, that those past men were merely stopovers, footnotes in my love story. They were not my "one great love." Because if it was so great, then why did it end in the first place? (For the record, I have forgiven these guys and even managed to be good friends with some of them. Maybe it wasn't entirely their fault anyway, but it really doesn't matter anymore)

There's really no point in comparing, because Babe is waaaay greater in every aspect. But with us, there really is no end. We might have the biggest of fights, but we never walk out on each other. We know that in the end, it is still us and love still outweighs our differences that we just have to work out our issues. That is certified forever material. I love him with all of me. And before I get too mushy, I just know, from the very start, when we prayed as a couple and offered our relationship to the Lord, that He was God's gift to me. He was the answered prayer that might have took a long time to arrive, but was very well worth the wait. I realized then, that things doesn't have to end, people don't have to leave for you to realize that they are the one you are looking for. Somehow, you will just feel that the search is over because you've found them and they are for keeps. I could state a million things to let you know why I'm marrying babe, but they probably wont fit in this blog, and really, no one else's opinion matter than mine and his. :)

I almost gave up once and thought that maybe this kind of love (romantic) is not for me, but I thank the Lord for being true to His promise in giving me the awesome awesome guy I have always dreamed about. I'm so blessed, like I have been my whole life. So, is Babe my one great love? Without a doubt, I know that he is. I can certainly say that a year from now, I'm settling down with the love of my life. Can't wait ;)


From One Tree Hill: "Believe that dreams come true everyday... Because they do."

One year to go! Updates of a June 2010 bride

It's now that time of the year when I can really start jumping and get all giddy and excited while exclaiming "One year na lang!!" Finally, it will really feel like it when people tell me, "malapit na!" Babe and I can't be more excited. For the day itself yeah, but even more on our life after.

The preparations have already started and I have booked several major suppliers, been to some nice bridal fairs, started my beauty and fitness regimen and corresponded with some possible suppliers. Thankfully, it hasn't become too crazy for me yet and I still have not transformed into Bridezilla and I think I have acquired a certain grace in the duration of the wedding preps. Maybe its because of that that some brides give off a certain relaxed aura.

Anyway, here are some of my supplier and wedding preps updates:

Church - Holy Family Parish, BF Almanza Subd., Las Pinas
Even before Babe proposed, I remember walking along the BF Almanza Streets with two of my close friends pointing to the Holy Family church and telling them that someday, they are gonna attend a wedding there. And I will be wearing white. Fast forward to after Babe proposed and when trusted advisers told us that the first thing we should book is a church, I knew somehow we were gonna land there. For me it was like homecourt. It is near, and really, has a sentimental value for the both of us since we always go to mass there. And like I mentioned in an old entry, that's where he first pictured me as his wife. That makes the church kind of non-negotiable. I can move the wedding date, but I will get married in that church. Anyway, so I inquired and was pleased to find out that the rate was really low. The lady in charge, Ate Josie, was pretty easy to deal with. So I gave my down payment of P1,000.00 and that was it. We have reserved the church for the afternoon of June 18, 2010. She told me to come back when my fiancee is here in the Philippines so she can advise us on the seminars and stuff.

Reception Venue - Portofino Clubhouse, Daanghari

I got a really good deal here. The wait was kinda long in booking this venue and I really had to tap different people for contacts, pull some strings (you need an endorsement to be able to reserve the place). Thanks to my friend Pau and her friend Tel who's a lot owner there, I was finally able to make a reservation. I almost crossed this off my list, but thankfully, we were able to work everything out. This is just so ideal for the simple and intimate dinner party that Babe and I want to have. Not to mention the rent is also really cheap. I mean, have you seen how beautiful it is?

a view of the swimming pool, from the 2nd floor

that's my sister/MOH waving... with Babe's family.

Flowers for church and entourage - Angel of Hearts
For me, booking them happened pretty fast. My sister and I went to the Wedding Expo where we met with Sir Lawrence. But it was kind of a no-brainer already, since my aunts who previously got married recommended them, and so did my fellow W@wies who I trust. And he was offering me a pretty good package valid only on the day of the expo. I just felt at ease because I showed him some pictures of floral arrangements I found on the net, and he was confident that he could do it. I don't want that many flowers anyway, just enough for understated elegance. And I'm all for the simple white and green ones lang naman, although mine has to have a bit more color. I'm actually excited for this when its time to do mock-ups. Can't wait to raid his stall in Dangwa.

Caterer - still looking! W@Wies swear by K by Cunanan and Blue Petals though. Although I'm for the latter because their packages are reaaally low. I just hope I can go for a food tasting in the near future to seal the deal.

Photographer - Jeff and Lisa Photography

Videographer - 30 FPS

After all the secrecy, I'm finally posting here who I'm getting for photo and video coverage. Like what I wrote about them in my previous entries, its just a supplier-client perfect match. Babe and I just want our day to be simple, heartfelt and fuss-free and this is how these suppliers struck us. I love that I'm in constant communication with Ms. Lisa; she's very friendly, willingly answers my questions and may I just confess that I'm a stalker of their website? How can you not stare at their pictures? They have an impeccable eye for details and are great at capturing moments that are real and romantic at the same time. I just had to do something to get them. You know how with several suppliers you get, they're not really your first choice? Like if money wasn't an issue you'd totally get a different one. That's so not the case with them. Even if I had a million bucks as budget for my wedding, I'd still go for Jeff and Lisa, in a heartbeat.

With 30 FPS, I loved that I can just go to their restaurant in Alabang when I want to meet with them, and that Sir Paul replies to my texts as promptly as possible. I also loved their onsite videos. Simple but timeless. They will surely remind us of our vows many years from now. Did I mention I got a really, really good deal with them? Among the esteemed wedding videographers, I think they have the lowest package, which they still managed to adjust for me :)

Wedding Gown/ Entourage's Gown - Dan Cadiz
No formal discussions yet, but since Tito Dan's a friend of the family, we all rely on him when we need dresses for weddings, debuts, etc., I think it's given na that he is designing my dress and that of the female members of the entourage. The moment we talk, I'll just show him some pegs, he'll sketch a design for me, I'll fall in love with it and by the end of the meeting, for sure he'll already be taking my measurements so what I have to work on is getting my wedding gown body ready. Budget? My mom isn't "Mars" (short for Mare) with him for nothing. We're so suki that I think we'll be able to get really fab dresses at lesser cost with him. Also Babe's suit perhaps? We'll see.

Hair and Makeup Artist - Mario Alondra

Like Tito Dan, Tito Mar's pretty much a given na. He's my mom's second cousin. He's not that well known in W@W, but he's popular in Las Pinas and he's really good. Politician's wives, several celebrities are some of his clients. A long line of women in our family have trusted him for their hair and makeup on their wedding day, and being a creature of habit and lover of culture and history, I'm not one to break the tradition. He did my makeup when I was conned in joing the beauty pageant in our High School, in both of my proms, my debut, relative's weddings, my sister's debut, etc. And friends and relatives give two thumbs up everytime :) Besides, its not like I need a total makeover on my wedding day. I'm going for au naturelle remember?

Hair and Makeup Artist for prenup (with J&L) - my good friend, Jinkie Simbulan. She's also really good! She doubles as my beauty adviser by the way ;)

Lights and Sound - This is also crucial since I'm counting on mood lights to create the (I qwas about to write mood, duh, kaya nga mood lights eh!) atmosphere in the reception, since I just want white everything and rely on the lights for color. Also, I won't be hiring a band for the reception so I'm counting on the sound system's DJ to be good too. I also plan to rent out an additional PA system for the church. I am now torn between two good suppliers that are W@W certified. I'm still deciding between RejectKrew and Sensitivity, although as of today, one of them already has the upper hand. To be fair, I'm meeting with both of them soon :)

Suits for male entourage and family - my friend recommended Mister K from Paranaque, and another one recommended her Tita, who used to be the apprentice of Edwin Valerio, also from Paranaque. Will have to research more on this. I was thinking of renting suits na lang for some of our groomsmen. My parents will pay for the suits of my brothers and so Babe and I will only worry about the suits of his brothers and dad.

Drapings - to be provided by one of our closest friends :) I'm so happy about this, because like I said, I just want a white, clean overall look for the reception and the white drapings will really reflect the moodlights well. I will have to show him some pegs though to give him an idea of how we want the drapings to look like. But he said it was a piece of cake for his mom and their staff.

Souvenirs - Definitely a photo booth. We're just deciding which supplier to get :)

Choir - will need one that's really affordable lang, since they'll only be singing the mass songs naman eh. Still scouting for a good group... If you can recommend anyone from the south, and my budget is actually 5,000 below only...hehehe.
Bridal car - my dad's car, Pearly. A 2008 edition Toyota Camry. Its beautiful and its free. And it will feel like home since I ride in it almost everyday.

Invites - After being tempted by several suppliers, I realized that I will do the invites myself. We just want it fun, brief, elegant and low-key. I should be able to do that. Will just look for a good supplier of paper and have a talk with my dad's friend who owns a printing company.

Hmmm... did I forget something? :) other paraphernalia like candles and stuff are basic, DIY it is.

That's it for now. So far, I think I did a pretty good job... Hehehe. As for Babe, he's doing a great job in saving as well :) a year to go and he already saved more than half of our allocated budget for the wedding. Not to mention most of the down payments were already made, care of yours truly (my little contribution to our dream wedding). And he's not losing his mind yet over my over-excitement, that's the tough part! hehehe :)

Some realizations I acquired from the wedding preps as of today: If you're having a hard time deciding between two options, close your eyes and picture yourself already marching down the aisle or having your makeup done or having the first dance, then you'll know what you truly want. Works for me, everytime. Always stay true to that picture inside your head.

Don't book on impulse. You know you're making the wrong decision when it feels like you're being hurried and forced into something you don't want. Yet, if you know you like this certain thing and you found the perfect supplier for you, you need not think hard. You'll just hear that voice inside your head saying "this is it." Of course, two heads are better than one so don't forget to consult your other half.

Love your own. When you've found and booked the supplier for you, stop comparing them to their more prominent and expensive counterparts. Focus on how they can deliver the best service on your wedding. Instead of looking for "what they don't have" in other supplier's blogs or websites, visit their blog regularly, remember why you got them in the first place, and know how their strengths can work well for your wedding. So stop obsessing on that high-end designer or that videographer that celebrities get.

Lastly, enjoy the wedding preps. REally, move at your own pace. Make the most of the bridal fairs, sAvor the moments you get inspirations for your dream wedding dress, listen to songs you want played on your reception, exchange friendly emails with your suppliers, take time to help out a W@wie in need. Engage in long conversations with your fiancee in making decisions. Its not a contest, really. Have fun and it'll feel like the most natural thing in the world.

That ends my post on my wedding-related accomplishments. I have 2 days and a year to go, technically. But I want to blog about more serious long term matter on the 18th eh... so I wrote this early na. Okay, now, on with the wedding preps!:))

My One-year beautification project** Part 2 of my vanity post**the usual long read from me

And here's the 2nd part, where I declare the things that I will do for my wedding look.

I know, I'm taking this waaay too seriously. Might give you the impression that I'm trying too hard. Hey, I'm not panget ha (not that anyone's panget, all brides are beautiful), its just that I want a really simple, yet stunning and ethereal look on our wedding day. I want that Ponds ad moment, where I will be the most radiant girl in the room, and my babe will feel like the luckiest guy on earth. That's my moment, which will only happen once in my lifetime, so I should do whatever I can to look and feel great at that particular time.

Anyway, here's what's included in my one-year beautification plan:

• Oplan Fair-ish skin. I have always taken pride on being morena. Well, there was the phase in high school where I dabbled on a few Block and White, but as I grew up, I have learned to love my complexion. It has been one of my assets, because I believe that bronzed olive skin is sexier. But then, I want my gown to be in off-white and creamy color, and friends say the dress would look so "lutang" in bronzed skin. And I mentioned that I wanted that Ponds moment. I want to be babe's My Fair Lady on that day. So, fair skin it is. I'm not gunning for that alabaster, mestiza type though, as I don't want to look like a metathione model naman, I just want that radiant, rosy, glowy lady-like clear skin that is suited for brides. And with that, I'm trying some of the Garnier Light line of skin whitening products for the face which my friend suggested I try. I'm now using their dark spot corrector and anti-puff eye roller. I haven't tried Garnier's body line yet, but I'm now using a whitening lotion with sunblock. Hopefully that helps. At night, I also lather on Myra E lotion, and I think my sister and I are already addicted to it. My friend also told me to take Myra E 400 capsules which helps in getting fairer and healthy-looking skin. But we have tons of Vitamin E capsules from the States at home, so I'm taking those for the mean time kasi sayang naman. I'm also taking Cee Plus, Vitamin C supplement with Rose Hip that was said to do wonders for the skin especially scars and acne scars (I'm selling this by the way, so if you're interested ;) ). I have really sensitive skin so I'm quite careful on what I take in and the products I use, so I stuck to my soap and facial cleansers advised by our dermatologist. So far I haven't developed an allergy to the new products I'm trying. Yey...


• Bleaching the hair on my upper lip area. I want a soft over-all look on my wedding day, and since I suspect I have more male hormones than any usual girl, facial hair has always been a problem. Lay Bare's threader and waxer is my bestfriend. Yet I have always been apprehensive to have the hair on my upper lip waxed or threaded. I'm not bothered by it on regular days, and I don't really think its too 'out there' but some people notice. So I brought it up during my trial makeup with the great Lorie Abraham and she told me that its best to just bleach the hairs on my upper lip so that they will be lighter and less visible. Waxing and threading may make the strands grow thicker kasi eh. Anyway, I'm still scouting for a good bleach creme, but I think I'm gonna go for the Sally Hansen line since they're known for those hair-removal products. I just hope it goes well and I don't overdo it...I don't wanna have white mustache! Anyway, Ms. Lorie said I should try it out before the wedding to see if I develop an allergy to it or if I should seek other alternatives. I loved how she picked up on things I only mentioned once. It feels like she was really listening, and sincere in dealing with me. Not too many makeup artists are like that. Sigh. But, I have a good one on my team, so no complains from me. Anyway, I hope the bleaching goes well and I get a softer, more feminine look on my wedding day.
  

• Perming my eyelashes. Admittedly, I have always been manang with these kinds of stuff. I don't normally go for these things especially when it requires sitting still for hours, let alone minutes as I'm such a kitikiti. But, after Ms. Lorie's thorough explanation, I realized I needed to do it. See, I have long and thick lashes, but like the hair on my head, they're just so bagsak that they're slanted downwards. That explains why I always get smudges when applying mascara, even when I curled my lashes a number of times with an eyelash curler. So I really should have them permed so that they will curl and open up and make my eyes appear bigger. Because even if I use falsies on the day, I'll still have a problem because they'll be slanted downwards pa rin. Kaya pala ang dalas kong mapuwing! :P Anyway, I'm just waiting for a new contract in work to materialize and then I'll have more time on my hands to devote to these things. I'll probably dedicate one whole day to have my lashes permed, and to get the bleaching thing done.
  

• Wear mineral makeup. This is a tip I got from W@W. I just got so curious about this that I started researching about it. Turns out this is really good for me, because I have sensitive skin and regular makeup usually expires on me. These won't. I can use them for more than a year or so. Plus they won't hurt my sensitive skin. They just seem to be a bit messy since they mostly come in powdered form, and a little more pricey than regular makeup, but I was told they also give maximum coverage, so the pros outweigh the cons.
  

• Get back in shape. Okay, for most of the time, I thought people were actually exagerrating when they tell me that I've grown. But when I looked at my previous photos in Friendster and Multiply, that was when it hit me. I really lost it. I guess it was stopping boxing and exercise that really made me blow up. Thankfully, I lost a few pounds when I got sick and that made me more conscious of my diet. That partnered with constant exercise should do the trick. Three months before I meet my wedding dress designer, I also plan to take these herbal supplements my parents are taking which is really great for weight loss. Imagine my mom already lost 11 pounds on her 3rd week! It's really effective but entails a lot of sacrifice as you'll only have one meal a day. And it's a bit expensive. So, its kind of my last resort. First, I'll try if boxing and diet does it for me. I hope it does.
  

• Be faithful to my beauty and fitness regimen. I know! This is the tough part. But the clock is ticking so I really have to work if I want really visible results. What's good though is I'm so motivated now. I'm updating my kikay kit in a few days, when I get the chance to spend a day in the mall. I also started devoting time to fixing myself before I leave the house for work. And with that I don't mean just getting dressed and combing my hair before I get in the car. Its making sure I apply sunblock, I look presentable and I wear accessories before I go to work. It makes me feel more confident.
  

Anyway, I think this entry has gotten way too long again. I hope you other readers won't think I'm too shallow or conceited. I'm just trying to be realistic. If you wanna look good on your wedding day, you have to prepare as early as now. I'm lucky to have started the preps early, I'm sure I'll see positive results as the days become closer. More than a year to go...

Just a way of measuring my progress for this year-long plan, I took a picture of me without any make-up. I'll check at least once every quarter if there are improvements (fairer, clearer skin, smaller face, slimmer arms,hehehe). So, here it is.uy, aminin niyo its not so bad! :P don't need much work naman diba? hehe.

Here's a closer look.

Haha, that's taken from my brother's Mac so I changed the background. Anyway, this is me without makeup, hopefully next time I'll have fairer skin na and smaller face.

One year? kaya yan! :))

The bride to be's vanity post** Part 1**the usual long read from me

this is the first part of the post that will end all my kikay entries (for this quarter).

Admittedly, I have been paying too much attention to my looks these days, well, not really the looks, but my hair and skin care. I'm not really what you'd call a high-maintenance girl, my hair's still basically wash and wear most of the time and I'm a big advocate of natural beauty. But I guess at one point, being low-maintenance and au naturelle became neglect. It all started when I was on an outing with my YFC Barkada and during the morning when us girls were done taking a bath and fixing ourselves, after combing my hair and putting on lotion, I found myself staring at the other girls in the room who were all still busy applying makeup and other stuff on their faces and hair. And then, one of my girlfriends asked me, "ikaw Cams, wala ka bang kakikayan sa katawan?" I was speechless. I had thrown out most of the items in my makeup kits because they have expired. All that's left were my lip balms(no color whatsoever), eyelash curler and face powder. I haven't updated my beauty loot in ages!

That was such a wake-up call for me. I used to be Cosmogirl Cams. I was updated with most beauty and fashion trends, and friends would come to me for makeup and fashion tips. And then for some reason, the Cosmogirl part of me just left and I didn't even notice it. At first, being my usual righteous self, I put the blame on several people and circumstances. 1)my Babe, for loving the simple side of me too much, sans makeup that I just became too much of the less is more kinda girl, and for being away, hence I didn't feel the need to always look good for someone 2)my sister, who was my partner in all things kikay. She pretty much gave up too when she entered film school. I mean, she was wearing my brothers' clothes to class most of the time! And so, when she neglected her looks, I did too, 3) the strict dress code in the office which pretty much left me with no choice but wear dull slacks and collared polos and ballet flats to work, 4)my officemates in their uniforms and kind of plain lifestyle here at work that I didn't feel the need to look pretty in work compared to my media job before where I always had to dress up and be made up to level with the celebrities, 5)lack of bonding time with my girlfriends therefore no chance to play dress up or talk about kikay stuff 6)spending too much time in the boys room. We had several relatives and family friends use our room for the last quarter of 2008 and most of 2009 (they just left last week) and so we were bunking in the boys room for a while, playing wii and the like on our free time. We were getting clothes from their closet, getting rid of most of our kikay stuff to lessen the junk in their room thus, no kikay time for a long, long time. See, I got six reasons, and I really haven't began to really think just yet.

But I realized, those reasons were merely excuses. That most of the blame was really should be mine. I mean, it was I who neglected my physical appearance, who got contented in wearing those kinds of clothes to work. So it was all me. But there's no room for pointing fingers (biglang ganun samantalang kanina ang dami mong sinisi =P) Thanks to my dear friend, Cosmogirl has awaken from a long and deep slumber and is now making her way back to Cams. Especially now that she's about to become a bride. So now, I'm dead set on prettifying myself again, most specially that I'm now preparing myself for my wedding that's almost a year to go na lang.


So with my approval, my friend appointed herself as beauty consultant slash makeup artist for my wedding. Well, she won't do my makeup on the day itself, but she's doing my makeup for my prenup. She's really good and although she didn't have a formal education on it, I wouldn't call her novice for she works in a global cosmetics company and she trains the ladies in the beauty counters on how to apply makeup. So I guess she just skipped the school part, but she's just the ultimate kikay girl, I trust her completely when it comes to this aspect. There were a lot of sensible advice that I got from her, and I'm pretty much convinced that I'm buying all the products she told me to try.

My trial makeup with Ms. Lorie Abraham (which I posted here before) also had a part in my so-called reawakening. While she was working her magic on me, she was giving me tips on things that I should try for my wedding. If my friend was subtle in the products she advised me to try, Ms. Lorie was more forward. You know, she told me to try out several beauty trends that I wouldn't really think of going for, but when she explained it to me, I realized they were practical beauty tips and I need to give them a try. While she was working, she kept on admiring my assets and gave me tips on how to highlight them and several things to try out before the wedding, so I would know if they work on me or I would develop an allergic reaction to them since I have sensitive skin. When she was done with my makeup, she told me that since I was blessed with good features, I just need a few makeup to look put together and I'm all set. That was such a boost. I felt so confident and so eager to resume my beauty regimen after that.

And not for anything, I'm thankful that I got sick and was hospitalized for a few weeks because I was able to assess certain things that I do to abuse my body, like eating and drinking certain foods, lack of exercise, etc. And now that I sort of lost weight and was able to find love on fruits again, I feel more radiant and energized to go on with feeling healthy and beautiful.

The gloomy weather's being a wee bit unhelpful, but I'm fighting every urge to be tamad to get up from bed and start neglecting my looks once again. It's even nicer now because my sister has also started to become conscious of her looks again. I guess its because we got our pink, girly room back :)

So hello world! CosmogirlCams is so back! :))

**if I can't get enough of blogging about all things kikay and vain, they will be at http://cosmogirlcams.blogspot.com