two months to go...

Cams is still Cams the bride. Nothing much has changed. And I think I have come to terms with it.

Tried on my wedding gown and its not perfect yet, there's still so much to do despite the fact that we started preparing since January of 2009.

Yesterday, I already booked our suppliers for the rings and invitations. And I met with our closest friends who we asked to take care of the church ceremony on the day of the wedding. Today, I went with my brothers to the tailor to have their suits made. And then we went to Cubao Expo and had my wedding shoes customized.

People have been asking me nonstop about the wedding preparations, and as always, I try to keep a straight face. Partly because, I don't wanna give away too much information about the wedding, it would ruin the excitement for everyone. And, I try not to be too stressed out and affected by what other people say. So on the outside, it may appear that I'm just taking a chill-pill, but if you know me better, on the inside, I'm already jumping up and down and screaming with excitement.

I always tell my sister that she's been sleeping a lot despite the never-ending projects and assignments she has for school. But when I think about it, I'm the one with a ticking clock and with the big day coming so soon. So I'm wondering why its so easy for me to be falling asleep every night when there's an endless checklist in my mind that I have to work on day and night. Everything will have to take place in the next few weeks and I need to check as much to-dos as I can before the one-month countdown begins. Why am I able to doze off easily? Maybe its because its busy and hot during the day that I can't help but retreat to the comforts of my bed at night.

Normal? Maybe, but not for an OC-bride like me. I keep thinking that now should be the time that I'm not gonna be able to sleep every night as I obsess on every detail about the wedding. That every day I could cross out an item from my mental checklist of sorts. When I'm in-charge of an event, the sleepless nights usually come really close to the date. That when effortlessly I can pull an all-nighter. But it's my wedding day, and as I'm planning to be a relaxed and graceful bride, I don't wanna have to do that. I wanna be able to chill and let go of all preparations at least three days before the event.

So what do I do now? I need to stop channeling all my energy to sleeping and really try staying up late to work on things I need to work on, details I need to fix and finalize. All this while still working during the day. I need to be less lax and be more hyper about it. Ever had the feeling that outside, you appear to be relaxed and calm and collected and graceful about everything, but on the inside, your jumping up and down, dancing and running around, your head and your heart is bursting with excitement and everything's pretty nerve-wracking? That's what I have been feeling right now. I'm insane I know. Camille is not Cams without CRAZY. I don't know if I need this relaxed mode to keep my sanity (otherwise, people seeing me running around and being so looney about the preps would be so disturbing, they might know I'm actually crazy) or I need to unleash my inner Road Runner/Tazmanian Devil at this point so that I may finish everything in time for our one-week relaxation period.

Can you believe how time went by so quickly? :) Grabe... but despite all the things that I still need to do, I'm still all for pulling the days so that our wedding day would come and we would finally be married! =))

Oh well, I'll try to blog as often as I could, but more than that, I need to work on more tasks and cross things out my checklists. Pray for me.

Three months into the wedding...

And I'm still me.
Happy-go-lucky, scatterbrained, OC me.

I'm still not the person I imagined myself becoming when I'm getting married. The radiant, soft-spoken, well-mannered bride. Nope, still no sign of that girl. The girl-next-door, poster girl, dreamy bride every girl wants to be. Maybe she's not showing up for this wedding.

I may have become a bit tougher and wiser, but I'm still me. I still feel the same things, I still want the same dreams. I still laugh wildly at the same stuff and get pissed for the same reasons. I still make the same mistakes, unintentionally :(

I am a bit nervous that I still haven't changed. If I was the awkward ugly duckling in this story, this would be the perfect time transform into the beautiful swan - in time for my wedding. But what if I don't? And I still end up being me on my wedding day? Can this Camille pull of an amazingly beautiful wedding without ruining everything with her clumsiness? Can she walk down the aisle gracefully as she pictured in her head?

But amidst all that, in a way, I'm also relieved. That Babe gets to marry ME. The Camille in all her quirks and imperfections. The ME that he loves, and the Camille who's equally crazy about him. And just because of that, I realized I wouldn't wanna be anyone else but ME. :)

Our wedding reception moodboard :)

Mamma Mia, let me count the ways...

I just saw Mamma Mia on HBO last night, and I was reminded again of how crazy I was about the movie. It's my one of my all-time favorites. I can watch it over and over and sing-along at the top of my lungs. But aside from the singing and dancing and the handsome actors and actresses and the fact that its shot in Greece, my dream destination, I guess its close to my heart because it was the first movie that I got pegs of what I want for our wedding. It's homey and personal, exactly how I wanted our wedding to be. No offense to other brides, but I'm not really the type who wants a princessy wedding, the kind where you will be drifted off to dreamland. I want the start of our life together to happen in a place where I'm home, in a place that's real to me. And I want to be surrounded by people that I love and I want them to be involved in this. I want to get ready in my parent's house, I want to ride in my father's car, I want to make our entourage personal gifts and give them handwritten notes, I'm sentimental like that. That's exactly how I saw Sophie's wedding in Mamma Mia.

So, enough talking, how about I show you some pictures of my favorite scenes and my pegs from this movie.

This movie was filled with colors that I love. Blushing pinks and ocean blues and of course, white. Pink and blue is part of our color motiff. I initially wanted a summer beach wedding, but we're not having one. I'm still happy though that we're kind of getting a soft vibe on it. Summer 2008, is the time that I got engaged, so its maybe why this movie really registered to my brain so quick.

I love the beach. I love water. We're getting married in thecity, but we have a pool in the reception. :) Don't you just love her kind of messed up hair, barely there makeup and flowy dress? I want a relaxed, laidback feel for my wedding look. Plus the flowers are gorgeous.

Mamma Mia, obviously, is a mother-daughter story. Father of the Bride, Meet the Parents, I wonder why movies want to focus on the father-daughter story. I'm close to my dad, but I think in my family, no one is more affected about my wedding than my mom. She cried when they found out I'm getting married, and growing up, I was really her "buntot." I'd go with her to the supermarket, her other errands, and just be with her as much as I can. Some girls aren't comfortable spending too much time with their mothers... I'm not that kind of girl. She'll tell me things she won't tell my other siblings, probably because I was the "mature one." Funny that Mama's also throwing a big party on the month of our wedding. She's turning 50 and she thought that would be a good excuse to throw a party. Just so she can invite other friends and relatives that I won't be able to invite for the wedding. No matter how independent and strong-headed I am, my mother can still save my ass at the end of the day. So I loved that this movie highlighted the mother-daughter bride angle. Even if they were always argue, in the end, Sophie still runs to her mom on her wedding day.

Friends and family aren't merely guests in our wedding. They will all have a special part. And when I dress up, I want my best girls to be there up until I reach the church. The bridesmaids' flowy dresses are beautiful. This is the scene where Sophie rides a donkey while her friends walk on the way to the church. Sophie was not a diva on her wedding day. Sure, she felt special, but she felt real. I want to be like that. I don't expect myself to be perfect on my wedding day. But I want to be perfectly happy... to be me. And although I'm not the most beautiful bride who ever walked the face of the earth, I want to feel special, and giddy, and excited. To be marrying the love of my life.

And of course, the passionate love affair. Sophie and Sky are so hot together. While I wish I can be as sexy as her, I can only settle for a groom that loves his bride the way Sky loves Sophie. And that I have from Day 1. Babe loves me a lot, he went out of his way to give me the wedding that I'm dreaming of. Weddings for me are not just commitments and formalizing unions, it should first of all, include hardcore, against-all-odds, passionate love. The kind where you are truly inseparable; the can't help falling in love type. Its that genuine look in each others eyes and knowing that life would truly be worth-living only if you can have this person in your arms. I've been with Babe for five years and although we have grown a lot and our relationship has hit its mature stages and people also think us getting married is the most sensible thing to do, everyday I know that I'm still as head-over-heels, crazy in love with him just like I was in Day 1. If I had to go through it all over again, I would still be perfectly happy. Because its him.

So yeah, I love that movie. And yay, bits of our concept and design layout will sort of resemble scenes from the movie and that was a pretty welcome coincidence. I know my real wedding will be as fun and unforgettable as this reel one. Even more. Well, that's coming soon :)

our gentlemen will be wearing...

SUITS from Onesimus.

Bragging? Not really. Just feeling good. After months of searching, tracking down possible options, going to different places to look for good deals and arranging the schedule and measurement of the guys, we just walked out of the Onesimus Factory Outlet earlier this afternoon carrying a bunch of swanky suit bags.

Okay, so two fittings with my entourage,two factory outlets and one heated encounter with a distasteful donya-donyahan customer later, I'm happy to share that our male entourage (most of them, at least) will be wearing their Onesimus suits to our wedding.

Its unbelievably priced lower than the famous Kamuning. The lowest quote I got there was 3500 for the coat and pants, I got it from Onesimus for almost P3,100 plus the quality, in my opinion, is a lot better.

Side-kwento, looking for suits for the male entourage and fixing their schedule was tougher than what I experienced with the girls. Women kasi look forward to going to designers and talking about dresses. Men are not into fittings, but when they take the time, they're very meticulous. Sobrang na-stress ako dun, but with the help of the wonderful Onesimus staff, I enjoyed the experience. It was a great way to bond with the guys as well. I'm so excited to see them in their Onesimus suits on our wedding day.

Being in the company of (mostly) men for the whole day though, kind of brought out the big eater in me... I ate rice twice today! That makes me so disappointed at myself, but being able to finally buy suits for the guys and making babe happy (I hope) is today's happy thought. Maybe even this week's happy thought. Scrap that though, I'm gonna have another beautiful day with a happy thought tomorrow (I might blog about it by then) until the rest of the week, and then on and on and on...:)

Can I tell you a secret?

I look at other brides photos and wedding videos to keep me motivated.

Yes, even those brides that I do not know. and I do that everyday, or almost everyday when I have the time.

I am a bit picky though. Imagine if I would look at all brides and all websites all the time. I have several favorites. Websites of several local wedding suppliers. I am partial to those who talk candidly and lovingly about their couples.

Some of my favorites are Veluz Reyes' blog, Jason Magbanua, Mangored, 30-FPS, Phoeben Teocson, K by Cunanan, Cecilio Abad...and of course, Jeff and Lisa. Not all of them are my suppliers of course, but I like looking at beautiful gowns and gorgeous and happy brides captured on film, or in photos.

Why? Maybe because apart from those magazine brides, those perfect photos in the glossies, those brides let me know that its real... that everything we're working hard for, what we want, what we imagine, what we dream of, it really happens! So if it happened to them, it could definitely happen to me.

So I need to work... for that slender body, for that glowing skin, for that picture-perfect grin, for the wedding that I have always dreamed of. And if it takes overcoming an unbelievable schedule, stressful decision-making and an almost impossible budget, I will so willingly brave it.

Just so at the end of the day, I can look at all our wedding pictures and videos, and marvel at what I did for love. And when all the memories fade and looking at pictures and videos is the last thing on my mind, I'll know that one thing remains: the man of my dreams holding my hand forever and ever.

Booked our flights! :)

YES!! :)

the resort and the whole trip's itinerary is still in the works, but their rates won't really change as fast as the airlines...

I'm so happy!! :)) will my true girl friends please get me tons of bathing suits on my shower party (if they're throwing me one)? :) and I will also need a rashguard :))