The Scare

A week before the wedding, Babe and I agreed that we would not be seeing each other until the day itself. To spend more time with our families and to build up on the excitement. From the time we parted on our last night, we really held up to our deal, and even if we were at the same places (happened many times), with the help of our friends, we managed to not see each other despite close calls.

But of course, being the OC bride that I am, I gave him his schedule on the day, and reminded him of the time he should leave from the hotel and proceed to the church. I had a different plan for him on how to spend his last days as a single guy, but I let him be. Especially since the whole gang (the boys) were already at the hotel the night before. They were doing the programme, taking care of the details, while watching the Finals of the NBA series Lakers vs. Boston Celtics on the morning of the wedding. I was already in relaxed bride mode, so I trusted him and our friends that everything was under control.

We were calling and texting in the morning, but after lunch, it was crazy busy. There were so many people in our suite and as soon as I got dressed, the pictorial started. Time flew by so quickly and before I knew, it was three o'clock, and we needed to go down and head to the church. The photographers and our coordinator-friends made sure that we wouldn't see each other on the way down to the hotel, so they told me to wait until Babe has already left the building. I was even left with one of the videographers for a few minutes, until we heard that the groom has already left and we can already go down.

And so we were there at the lobby, which was really small, it would be impossible for us not to see each other in case he's still there.

So I was sitting there with my parents, waiting for our car that would bring us to the church. And then I noticed. His friends was still there, his family was still there. I specifically told him that they should be at the church by 3pm.

But more than that, I realized, if they were still all there, to whom did the groom ride with on his way to the church? And then I noticed, they were all going up and down the building. His best men were still there with their wives. I saw his parents, his mom greeted me and said I looked beautiful. So... if the groom was not with the people that he was supposed to be with, then, WHERE IS THE GROOM?!

I started to panic, as they were all asking each other where Babe was. Each of them thought he was with the other. They said they left him at the car to wait, as they picked up the other friends, but when they got to the car, he wasn't there, and the key wasn't there. So they lost the groom. Our on-the-day coordinator, who is also one of our closest friends, must have noticed that I was aware of what was happening. She came up to me and reassured me that everything was under control. I managed to smile, but nervous drops of sweat trickled down my face.

What followed could have been the longest 10 minutes of my life. I was worried about Babe. For a few minutes, I contemplated on whether he has gotten cold feet. Did he change his mind and run away? But I know Babe won't do that. He's not a coward and he loves me. And then, I thought, what if something bad happened to him? What if he was kidnapped as part of an insensitive joke? What if he was abducted(yes, me and my crazy imagination)? In my mind, I was already praying... "Lord, as long as he is safe..." and I was already starting to tear up. But I knew it would ruin my makeup and we don't want any more delays now, don't we? So I just continued to pray.

And then after what has been a nervewracking moment for me, they found him. At the empty lot beside the building. Contemplating. Sure and ready as ever. And I uttered a prayer of thanks. They made their way to the church and soon after, we did too. I was happy again :)

At the church, when it was finally my turn to walk down the aisle, I saw my groom, the love of my life, teary eyed as he approached me. The look on his face was priceless.

When we were walking, I also broke into tears. I told him that he scared me a while ago, when he was nowhere to be found.

Later on, I learned that he didn't know people were looking for him. Our photographer, Sir Jeff, told him to hide, as I was already on my way down. He didn't have time to tell any one of his companions where he was going. He was hiding in the bushes. Typical Babe. Doing what was unexpected, not knowing that I was going crazy and being upset. But I love him, even when he's like that. And typical me. Worrying about him, even when there is no need to. And he loves me, because I'm like that.

The Aftermath...

No, there wasn't such a thing in our wedding such as an aftermath, except maybe for the migraine I had the day after. And the funny sight of my husband removing the dozens of hairpins in my head on our wedding night. I swear, that moment was priceless. When he told me that I should have called on our close female friend (who was also staying at the hotel) to help me remove the pins on my head. It was really taxing for a guy, but he did it lovingly. His first duty as a husband.

It was a great experience, being married. After the ceremony, Babe and I were in cloud nine. We relished the feeling of being the stars of the night, and of course, finally, we are one and we can be together as much as we want. The love of our friends and family, and our love for each other was eminent that day.

It was a wonderful feeling, being a bride. I felt like a princess, a goddess, and a little girl and a grown woman rolled into one. I have been preparing for that day for so long, and I have been wanting to be a bride ever since, and when that moment came, the feeling was great, and knowing that it was real was even greater. I wasn't daydreaming anymore. It was happening.

And now that we're done receiving and opening gifts, now that the greetings and messages stopped pouring in on Facebook and I have finally replied to almost everyone, after the lovely honeymoon, now that Babe is back to the Middle East for work and I'm also back to work and back to my homebase, now that my beautiful, beautiful wedding dress is in the cleaners for a rather expensive dry cleaning, I realized that, I am no longer a BRIDE, but now a WIFE.

Being a bride was an experience I will forever treasure. And maybe, on our 2oth anniversary and if we are still in a good place, I will wear my wedding dress again and Babe will marry me again. But it won't be the same of course. It was great while it lasted. Epic even. But now I have to move on to the next chapter.

Now that I'm no longer a bride, I'm thinking it's time to close this blog and start a new one when we have settled down. Time to start writing again on my Desperate Housewives covered journal. It only seems right to do that.

So is this goodbye?...

Not without me sharing everything I can about the wedding. This blog, some readers and mostly writing has helped me a lot throughout this journey. To clear my mind, be reminded of the steps I need to take, to help me ease up and laugh about everything that happened. So in a few days, you'll see the end of this blog, but I'm not heading out without a bang. As you know me as a master of long reads, I will be posting a series of blog entries about different aspects, moments and experiences that I had on the wedding day. It just won't fit in one blog entry. Some tips that might help other bride-to-bes. Or just true stories to make you laugh and pretty much relax, as the wedding preparations can be quite a hassle.

Before, I've shared that I love looking at wedding photos and onsite videos of other beautiful brides. I know, I've had too much wedding porn, but come to think about it, it really helped me in my preparations, gave me beautiful ideas that were put to use for the concept of the whole wedding, and showed me what to expect on my wedding day. I used to admire the real brides that I saw on pictures and videos, I was in awe of how radiant and glowing they all were. And looking at them too much, the vibe must have gave off on me. Or it must be my husband's love, but I sure felt like a radiant and glowing bride that day. Like the ones I've seen in pictures. So who am I not to share? I owe it to this blog, and all the bridal blogs I've read, to impart what happened, on the party, on the big event, on the joyous and special moment that is my wedding day. It's quite a task, but there's nothing a bride can't do.

So much for the long read. The series of my farewell Cams the bride wedding posts comes after this.

Here is Camille, CAMS, the bride

Thank you Lord! Finally! :)

The day wasn't perfect, it wasn't a perfect wedding, but I wasn't a perfect bride. But it was a beautiful day. It was a beautiful wedding, and I felt beautiful. I was a beautiful blushing bride, because I was myself on that day. More than Cams the Bride, it was Cams, the giddy, overly romantic, laidback and sensitive Cams, marrying the love of her life.

two months to go...

Cams is still Cams the bride. Nothing much has changed. And I think I have come to terms with it.

Tried on my wedding gown and its not perfect yet, there's still so much to do despite the fact that we started preparing since January of 2009.

Yesterday, I already booked our suppliers for the rings and invitations. And I met with our closest friends who we asked to take care of the church ceremony on the day of the wedding. Today, I went with my brothers to the tailor to have their suits made. And then we went to Cubao Expo and had my wedding shoes customized.

People have been asking me nonstop about the wedding preparations, and as always, I try to keep a straight face. Partly because, I don't wanna give away too much information about the wedding, it would ruin the excitement for everyone. And, I try not to be too stressed out and affected by what other people say. So on the outside, it may appear that I'm just taking a chill-pill, but if you know me better, on the inside, I'm already jumping up and down and screaming with excitement.

I always tell my sister that she's been sleeping a lot despite the never-ending projects and assignments she has for school. But when I think about it, I'm the one with a ticking clock and with the big day coming so soon. So I'm wondering why its so easy for me to be falling asleep every night when there's an endless checklist in my mind that I have to work on day and night. Everything will have to take place in the next few weeks and I need to check as much to-dos as I can before the one-month countdown begins. Why am I able to doze off easily? Maybe its because its busy and hot during the day that I can't help but retreat to the comforts of my bed at night.

Normal? Maybe, but not for an OC-bride like me. I keep thinking that now should be the time that I'm not gonna be able to sleep every night as I obsess on every detail about the wedding. That every day I could cross out an item from my mental checklist of sorts. When I'm in-charge of an event, the sleepless nights usually come really close to the date. That when effortlessly I can pull an all-nighter. But it's my wedding day, and as I'm planning to be a relaxed and graceful bride, I don't wanna have to do that. I wanna be able to chill and let go of all preparations at least three days before the event.

So what do I do now? I need to stop channeling all my energy to sleeping and really try staying up late to work on things I need to work on, details I need to fix and finalize. All this while still working during the day. I need to be less lax and be more hyper about it. Ever had the feeling that outside, you appear to be relaxed and calm and collected and graceful about everything, but on the inside, your jumping up and down, dancing and running around, your head and your heart is bursting with excitement and everything's pretty nerve-wracking? That's what I have been feeling right now. I'm insane I know. Camille is not Cams without CRAZY. I don't know if I need this relaxed mode to keep my sanity (otherwise, people seeing me running around and being so looney about the preps would be so disturbing, they might know I'm actually crazy) or I need to unleash my inner Road Runner/Tazmanian Devil at this point so that I may finish everything in time for our one-week relaxation period.

Can you believe how time went by so quickly? :) Grabe... but despite all the things that I still need to do, I'm still all for pulling the days so that our wedding day would come and we would finally be married! =))

Oh well, I'll try to blog as often as I could, but more than that, I need to work on more tasks and cross things out my checklists. Pray for me.

Three months into the wedding...

And I'm still me.
Happy-go-lucky, scatterbrained, OC me.

I'm still not the person I imagined myself becoming when I'm getting married. The radiant, soft-spoken, well-mannered bride. Nope, still no sign of that girl. The girl-next-door, poster girl, dreamy bride every girl wants to be. Maybe she's not showing up for this wedding.

I may have become a bit tougher and wiser, but I'm still me. I still feel the same things, I still want the same dreams. I still laugh wildly at the same stuff and get pissed for the same reasons. I still make the same mistakes, unintentionally :(

I am a bit nervous that I still haven't changed. If I was the awkward ugly duckling in this story, this would be the perfect time transform into the beautiful swan - in time for my wedding. But what if I don't? And I still end up being me on my wedding day? Can this Camille pull of an amazingly beautiful wedding without ruining everything with her clumsiness? Can she walk down the aisle gracefully as she pictured in her head?

But amidst all that, in a way, I'm also relieved. That Babe gets to marry ME. The Camille in all her quirks and imperfections. The ME that he loves, and the Camille who's equally crazy about him. And just because of that, I realized I wouldn't wanna be anyone else but ME. :)

Our wedding reception moodboard :)

Mamma Mia, let me count the ways...

I just saw Mamma Mia on HBO last night, and I was reminded again of how crazy I was about the movie. It's my one of my all-time favorites. I can watch it over and over and sing-along at the top of my lungs. But aside from the singing and dancing and the handsome actors and actresses and the fact that its shot in Greece, my dream destination, I guess its close to my heart because it was the first movie that I got pegs of what I want for our wedding. It's homey and personal, exactly how I wanted our wedding to be. No offense to other brides, but I'm not really the type who wants a princessy wedding, the kind where you will be drifted off to dreamland. I want the start of our life together to happen in a place where I'm home, in a place that's real to me. And I want to be surrounded by people that I love and I want them to be involved in this. I want to get ready in my parent's house, I want to ride in my father's car, I want to make our entourage personal gifts and give them handwritten notes, I'm sentimental like that. That's exactly how I saw Sophie's wedding in Mamma Mia.

So, enough talking, how about I show you some pictures of my favorite scenes and my pegs from this movie.

This movie was filled with colors that I love. Blushing pinks and ocean blues and of course, white. Pink and blue is part of our color motiff. I initially wanted a summer beach wedding, but we're not having one. I'm still happy though that we're kind of getting a soft vibe on it. Summer 2008, is the time that I got engaged, so its maybe why this movie really registered to my brain so quick.

I love the beach. I love water. We're getting married in thecity, but we have a pool in the reception. :) Don't you just love her kind of messed up hair, barely there makeup and flowy dress? I want a relaxed, laidback feel for my wedding look. Plus the flowers are gorgeous.

Mamma Mia, obviously, is a mother-daughter story. Father of the Bride, Meet the Parents, I wonder why movies want to focus on the father-daughter story. I'm close to my dad, but I think in my family, no one is more affected about my wedding than my mom. She cried when they found out I'm getting married, and growing up, I was really her "buntot." I'd go with her to the supermarket, her other errands, and just be with her as much as I can. Some girls aren't comfortable spending too much time with their mothers... I'm not that kind of girl. She'll tell me things she won't tell my other siblings, probably because I was the "mature one." Funny that Mama's also throwing a big party on the month of our wedding. She's turning 50 and she thought that would be a good excuse to throw a party. Just so she can invite other friends and relatives that I won't be able to invite for the wedding. No matter how independent and strong-headed I am, my mother can still save my ass at the end of the day. So I loved that this movie highlighted the mother-daughter bride angle. Even if they were always argue, in the end, Sophie still runs to her mom on her wedding day.

Friends and family aren't merely guests in our wedding. They will all have a special part. And when I dress up, I want my best girls to be there up until I reach the church. The bridesmaids' flowy dresses are beautiful. This is the scene where Sophie rides a donkey while her friends walk on the way to the church. Sophie was not a diva on her wedding day. Sure, she felt special, but she felt real. I want to be like that. I don't expect myself to be perfect on my wedding day. But I want to be perfectly happy... to be me. And although I'm not the most beautiful bride who ever walked the face of the earth, I want to feel special, and giddy, and excited. To be marrying the love of my life.

And of course, the passionate love affair. Sophie and Sky are so hot together. While I wish I can be as sexy as her, I can only settle for a groom that loves his bride the way Sky loves Sophie. And that I have from Day 1. Babe loves me a lot, he went out of his way to give me the wedding that I'm dreaming of. Weddings for me are not just commitments and formalizing unions, it should first of all, include hardcore, against-all-odds, passionate love. The kind where you are truly inseparable; the can't help falling in love type. Its that genuine look in each others eyes and knowing that life would truly be worth-living only if you can have this person in your arms. I've been with Babe for five years and although we have grown a lot and our relationship has hit its mature stages and people also think us getting married is the most sensible thing to do, everyday I know that I'm still as head-over-heels, crazy in love with him just like I was in Day 1. If I had to go through it all over again, I would still be perfectly happy. Because its him.

So yeah, I love that movie. And yay, bits of our concept and design layout will sort of resemble scenes from the movie and that was a pretty welcome coincidence. I know my real wedding will be as fun and unforgettable as this reel one. Even more. Well, that's coming soon :)